An Amazon Breakthrough Novel Quarterfinalist, Death by Haggis is a tongue in cheek detective novel inspired by the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the "opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels." Until the day Jane Hamchester walked into his squalid office, the highlight of Detective Sam Barlow's life had been a particularly good tuna sandwich. Now he is charged with trying to save the life of the only woman he ever, uhm, thought was really swell. His only problem is that there are no clues, other than the nonsensical utterances of a dying man. Barlow's desperate search takes him first to Scotland and then to the Aegean. But time is running out. Not only for Jane but for the human race. Barlow's only possible hope lies at the bottom of an ancient cavern, a remnant from the time when a different kind of human populated the Earth, a kind of human that could have saved mankind. Alas, they are long extinct. Or are they? ****************************************** Death By Haggis: What people are saying ... "What are you staring at?" Chelsea Pennybaker "Jay Cutts does for fiction what Dave Barry does for gourmet cooking." St. Louis Blues Dispatch "What more compelling metaphor for life itself could there be than a mysterious white leviathan and the mindless drive of a nearly ruined sea captain to track it down and destroy it? Oh, wait. You mean this book?" Denver Postit "This is one of those books that you know immediately could be an instant classic if millions of people all bought it and liked it and it got a lot of publicity and then they made a movie out of it." George W. Bush "The humor of Edgar Alan Poe, the refined taste of William S. Bourroughs, the punctuation of e.e. cummings. This work contains it all, but I forget on which page." The Milwaukee Braves "If Jay Cutts is not yet [in] an institution, he should be, and soon." Better Homes and Gargoyles "Cut it out, will ya." Chelsea Pennybaker

(STERLING SERIES # 1) - Daphne Dennings thought she could finally tick off "Have sex with a random stranger" on her bucket list. She realized the next morning that it wasn't a one-night stand after all. After meeting that cute guy on the top deck of her cousin's yacht wedding reception at Saint Tropez, Daphne wishes she could meet another guy just like him. Five years later, she bumps into the very same person she hooked up with back at her cousin's wedding. To her surprise, the guy she hooked up with was none other than one of Forbe's most eligible bachelors, Vincent Sterling. And this eligible bachelor wants her. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The story launched on the Radish Fiction app - June 29, 2021 - No longer available. This story is only posted on Wattpad. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ C O N T E N T / T R I G G E R W A R N I N G S ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sexual themes Drugs Swearing Suicide Character death Knife Gun Alcohol ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Formerly What Vincent Wants. Changed on 06.20.2021 CREDIT: Photo by Asad Photo Maldives from Pexels ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ❤ P O S T E D - 05.24.15 - 11.27.19 #3 (Romance - 10.29.15)