Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

In which a fortune cookie saves a blind date going down faster than a roller coaster after a steep climb.

"Give me ten days, and I can give you ten reasons not to die." Evan paused. "And if I can't change your mind by then, you can go jump off that cliff."

A fear of flying is one thing. Being seated next to a Tetris-addict who claims to be the Reaper is quite another. "He pulled out a business card. Where his profession should have been stated, the card read 'Destroyer of Worlds'. Nodding slowly, I pocketed the card." [check out the new spin off: http://www.wattpad.com/story/19632442-reaper-man] Copyright S.Ranasinghe 2013 HG Wells Short Story Competition [shortlisted]