PERSONAL ASSISTANT NEEDED. People skills optional. Ability to take drink orders preferred. Personal mode of transport a MUST. To Reply, Contact Dr. M's home office: 1-555-TRBLE-4-U (Idiots and those prone to knock-knock jokes need not apply.) ◎ ◎ ◎ Nobody in their right mind would respond to a help wanted listing so vague. Enter, Robin Banks. The wacky exploits of a narcoleptic super villain and his reluctant sidekick. [COMPLETED FIRST DRAFT - #22 in Humor on 4/12/15]

"Rose, I'm sorry, but your eyesight will be gone by the end of this year." Who knew one simple sentence could change a life so drastically? Rose is a normal seventeen year old girl with a normal life, normal friends, and what she thought to be normal vision. When she receives the news her vision is slowly deteriorating, she doesn't know what to think. Her life is over. What's a life without being able to see? Enter Chace, a young man who tackled Rose to the ground, mistakingly thinking she was about to commit suicide. He's handsome, suave, and has no idea why Rose is so upset. And even though she is a complete stranger, he decides he wants to help her feel better. With four months until her vision is gone forever, Rose slowly falls in love with this happy-go-lucky young man, but never reveals her problem to him. She's scared. Will he stay with her when he finds out she's going blind? Or will he ditch her when he finds out the truth?

I woke up in a lab. I don't know anything about myself and I'm not sure that I want to. I don't even know my own name, or what I'm doing here. There are other children here, too, some younger than me and some that are older; but none of them are...normal. We are all different in some way. I'm the only one that can talk and I probably will be the oldest as well. They usually live for a week at the most. We're usually caged, and we only leave the dark room when they want to experiment on us. Or kill us. The evil people call me their Ultimate Specimen that could change the world... But I'm just a girl who doesn't have an inkling of anything before this torture. The men and women here call me dangerous, harmless, a secret, a solution. I don't know what any of it means, but they continue their work and experiments on me. Why am I so fascinating? Why am I here? If you want to know what is happening behind your backs, then you must read this. I don't know many things at all, but I do know that I will somehow escape. Never to come back. ©2013 by E. Barnes.

A smile crossed Death's cold, skeleton face. "Looks like you're out of a job," he told her. The angel looked up at him, shocked. "I-it's not as easy as it looks," she insisted. [A compilation of short stories that are sometimes about life, but mostly about Death.]

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

So much for an easy way to go. After thirty nine long years, each squandered day chained inexorably and uneventfully to the next, this is how it ends. How appropriate. Blinking back tears, Joanna shakes out another handful of pills into the palm of her hand... Environmental catastrophe, dismissed by many as myth or propaganda, is now an impending reality. Tides are rising and storms are brewing. Meanwhile, in a small-town suburban home, a small family is fraying at the seams, and on the brink of a collapse of their own. Following the suicide of his wife and imprisoned by grief, Arnold witnesses the inexorable downwards spiral of his neighbourhood on television, from the confines of his living room. Fifty years on, his son Noah is thrust into a dense, compact Britain he hardly recognizes, adrift in a society in the throes of transformation. Years later, the experiment falters and Nature threatens to take over entirely. Noah’s daughter Eve faces unimaginable consequences and her will to survive is tested to its limits... THE FALL OF MAN begins in the Britain of today. Three successive generations struggle to exist in a future rife with change. Their story chronicles a series of cataclysmic, global events, from the perspective of an all-too-human family. Two new chapters to be added each week...