They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

| SAMPLE ONLY; READ IT NOW ON GALATEA | ❝He's the boy she left behind. She's the girl he let go.❞ ➵ Before she became one of music's biggest up-and-coming artists, Evelyn "Evie" Chase was a nobody at the bottom of the Roosevelt High School food chain with only a handful of friends. Her best friend (and longtime crush)--popular jock, Adam Fields--was her polar opposite, but despite their differences, their bond was as strong as they come. That is, until one day-- one mistake--changed the course of their friendship forever, and the once inseparable duo never spoke again. Fast forward three years, and everything's changed. Evie has the world at her feet, now out in L.A. living her dream as a seventeen-year-old popstar-- leaving the town, the boy who broke her heart, and those who'd made high school unbearable behind. Meanwhile, Adam--at Roosevelt finishing off senior year and still the school (and town's) beloved "golden boy"--is trying his hardest to let go of the past and the girl he let get away. And it's going well, the two of them living their separate lives. Until Evie's back. Suddenly, seventeen and senior year just got a lot more interesting.

WATTPAD ORIGINAL EDITION In 1955, mixed-race Ethan Harper leaves his progressive hometown for a summer in Alabama where he's not welcome, except by resident free spirit, Juniper Jones. ***** After getting himself into a bout of trouble, 16-year-old Ethan Harper's parents send him to Ellison, Alabama, to live with his aunt and uncle for the summer. But the year is 1955, and Alabama is a far cry from his beloved home of Arcadia, Washington. As much as it's hotter in temperature, it's colder in every other way, and Ethan learns the hard way that people see his mere existence as a threat. Amidst all the mayhem, a fiery, free-spirited, oddball walks into Ethan's life. Her name is Juniper Jones. She is the first person in Ellison who seems unfazed by their racial differences, and she promises to give Ethan a summer he will always remember, filled with endless adventure and discovery. With Juniper, Ethan can breathe, he can be, despite the incessant attention and bullying their newly formed friendship attracts. Can the two survive the summer, run in the light and block out the noise of the outside world? [Published version comes out June 16, 2020 with Wattpad Books!] [[word count: 70,000-80,000 words]]

After an apparent fatal drowning, Lincoln Parker wakes up alive, fully intact and drenched in the seawater of San Diego Beach. Confused, disorientated and alone, he staggers into the nearest bar only to discover ten years has passed since his disappearance in 1935. Yet, as he stumbles towards a mirror, he learns that his body has not aged one day since his ‘drowning’. Shocked, appalled and with no money or contacts, he is left lingering in the shadows performing odd jobs here and there in order to gather some stability; one of which being a seat filler.

In which a boy and a girl live on opposite ends of the city, yet still manage to find their way to each other. Their story is told through an exchange of rambling texts.

"Semester Abroad" is a story from bestselling author Simon Rich's latest collection Spoiled Brats. About the Book: Twenty years ago, Barney the Dinosaur told the nation's children they were special. We're still paying the price. From "one of the funniest writers in America"* comes a collection of stories culled from the front lines of the millennial culture wars. Rife with failing rock bands, student loans, and participation trophies ; Spoiled Brats is about a generation of narcissists-and the well-meaning boomers who made them that way. A hardworking immigrant is preserved for a century in pickle brine. A helicopter mom strives to educate her demon son. And a family of hamsters struggles to survive in a private-school homeroom. Surreal, shrewd, and surprisingly warm, these stories are as resonant as they are hilarious. *Jimmy So, Daily Beast

After an amusing banter at the library with a mysterious guy, Savannah hopes that it's the last she'll see of the bickering boy. Come to find out, he's a new student at her school who just so happens to be a junior, much like Savannah. He feels the need to stick around her even though she is the target for childish rumors, gave him the wrong number purposely, has all the comebacks for his pickup lines, tried to run him over with her car, constantly embarrasses him, and repeatedly tells him to 'get lost' or 'shove off.' During their many adventures, not only do they get into many bad situations but they make a few enemies along the way. Will his determination to befriend this stubborn girl spark a friendship between the two or a special kind of hatred? <><><> WARNING: I wrote this story when I was fetus- even more fetus than I am now. I was thirteen and I finished it two or three weeks after I turned 14. That means that this story has grammatical errors. So please, read at your own risk. --- I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE PICTURE IN THE COVER. I SIMPLY SLAM DUNKED SOME WORDS ONTO IT. I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE. I SIMPLY FOUND IT ON APP.

"We could fly to Berlin, Tokyo or Jamaica. We can go where you want, say the word and I'll take ya. But I'd rather stay on the sofa, with you." Summer time means vacation; three months of new discoveries, thrilling adventures, wrinkled maps to be pried open, and gorgeous foreign countries to explore. When Kira Walker is left defeated by the fact that she won't be going anywhere extravagant for her summer vacation for the umpteenth time out of her seventeen years of existence, her best friend, Xander Harrison and his remarkable talent with words just might save the day. Through Xander's beautifully crafted tales, the pair embark on adventures which evolve around unique encounters and quite a few mishaps. Kira and Xander find solace with each other’s company as they voyage the world through the remarkable power of words from a faded old sofa. Cover credit; morstan