As far as lazy roommates go, Death is probably as bad as they come. Rosa Delgada only wants a nice, ordinary weekend. When some guy claiming to be the Reaper comes knocking on her door, any plans of normality are thrown straight out of the window. Now she's got to worry about Death sleeping on her sofa, the forces of evil hunting down her new roommate, and - worst of all - all the post-break-up comfort food she keeps eating. And to make matters worse, Death is almost certainly going to go down in the record books as being the universe's least helpful roommate. He may be a horseman of the apocalypse but he'll be damned if he doesn't do the dishes. But life's going to get a whole lot harder for Rosa. Death's sudden holiday is resulting in some grizzly repercussions, and now all of the Underworld is out to drag him back. There's only so far sarcasm and strawberry ice cream will get you.

Every story needs a catalyst. For Wren Jamison, it was Walter Quinn. * * * * * Catalyst. Science will tell you it's a substance that speeds up change. So I looked forward to the day I would stop being a sleeping in, semi-seriously homeschooled, number one Dave Franco fan girl. But I never thought that day would come so soon, so quickly – and I never figured that Italian sports cars, designer clothes and an army of girls ready to claw my eyes out would come with it. And what exactly did I need to do to turn from a completely nutty nobody to the kind of person everyone kept their eye on? Simple. Just Add Walter. Copyright © 2014 CrayonChomper

"She was the kind of girl who could make dying beautiful. With a cigarette perched between her lips and scars ghosting across her skin, she made us believe that anything she did was an act, a performance, as if her life were nothing but prologue to the masterpiece that would be her death." M. K. Wilde *The cover was made by novellus*

Meet Kyle Pierce. Tilson High's infamous bad boy. He was known for being a trouble maker and also known to be extremely attractive. And besides that, he was a mystery. He was every girl's dream, yet no one seems to get a hold of him. Meet Faye Rade, the girl who no one really bothers to acknowledge her existence. And she was actually glad no one does. Her plan was to remain in the shadows until she graduate and that's all there is to her wish. But not all wishes weren't meant to be fulfilled as an unexpected turn of events occur. Two different worlds collide, The Bad Boy Meets Ms. Nobody. Copy Rights © 2015

~ON HOLD~ »Okay. Long, dark-brown hair. Brown eyes. Full red lips. Skin pale as milk. I'll call you Snowhite.« He grinned, content with himself. My eyes are green-brown, my lips are red because of the lipstick and really – the best metaphor for pale skin he could think of was, milk? »Hm, let's see. Perverted eyes. Arogant hair. Annoying suntan and mouth that prouduce the world's stupidest sentences. My, my…what should I call you? I know, how about the Annoying orange?« I returned that big grin right in his face. Two could play at this game, bitch!

"I have been shot at by people today, been chased around by people wearing hazmat suits, I overheard my boss saying he wants to kill me, and I'm now stuck with a vampire-turned-human that is cranky 24/7. All I am asking is that I get one night of sleep. One night. So, for the love of all that's holy, let me sleep in peace." Warren stared at me for the longest time, and then finally blinked. "I tuned out after you said you were shot at, you mind repeating that again?" Alexa Kay Hazelwood was on the brink of discovery. She was going to reveal to the world that the monsters that haunted little children's dreams were real. She was also going to reveal that she had a weapon to stop them. An antidote. She was going to turn every vampire in the world back to a human again. But everything started to go the opposite way. Her boss wanted her research all to himself and the vampire she found had problems of his own. She was caught between the middle of it all. She had to teach this vampire how to be human again. "All I knew about Warren was that he was born in the 1700s. He had a sister and a father. He was one of the first vampires created. His best friend betrayed him (on what, I don't know) and that his name was Ryan Caine. That's all I knew about my dear friend Warren. That, and he was moody all the time."

Charlotte Everley and her best friend had a tradition. Every summer on June 26th, they call one number--one random number of the same area code, purely for entertainment. When Charlotte's best friend Stella found love with the help of their 'tradition', she added another reason. To find Charlotte a boyfriend. After three years of endless match ups, set ups, blind dates. and not to mention two calls to, thankfully, female receivers, the summer of eleventh grade comes rolling by, and so does the fateful day of June 26th. The only difference is that, this time, the stranger behind the phone is most definitely male. And the president's eighteen year old son.

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

In a world where the ink on your skin bears witness to identity, expression and memory, Thea Landry remains inkless. This is her story. BOOK 1: Inkless [ongoing] BOOK 2: [coming soon] BOOK 3: [coming soon] Copyright © 2014 CrayonChomper