A bunch of hilarious,pee your pants funny jokes in one place. Have a nice reading and Remember you can't spell swag without sw and ag!

NOTE: If you read Untraceable, please consider POSTing an honest review on Amazon (or other platform). If you post a review, email me the review link at shelli@srjohannes.com and I will offer you a free copy of Uncontrollable (Book 2)! :) Limited Offer! Untraceable is an award-winning teen wilderness thriller. Uncontrollable (Book 2) & Unstoppable (Book 3) are out. Book 4 is coming soon! :) "With wilderness survival, a juicy love triangle, and more twists and turns than a roller coaster, this fast-paced novel had me holding my breath until the very last page!" - Kimberly Derting (author of the popular Body Finder series, The Pledge series, and her the Taking sci-fi series ) "This thrilling story is a dramatic entanglement of mystery, deception and teen romance. The action flows like a brisk mountain stream interspersed with rapids, holding suspense to last page."- Kirkus Review ======================= Grace has lived in the Smoky Mountains all her life, patrolling with her forest ranger father who taught her about wildlife, tracking, and wilderness survival. When her dad goes missing on a routine patrol, Grace refuses to believe he's dead and fights the town authorities, tribal officials, and nature to find him. One day, while out tracking clues, Grace is rescued from danger by Mo, a hot guy with an intoxicating accent and a secret. As her feelings between him and her ex-boyfriend get muddled, Grace travels deep into the wilderness to escape and find her father. Along the way, Grace learns terrible secrets that sever relationships and lives. Soon she's enmeshed in a web of conspiracy, deception, and murder. And it's going to take a lot more than a compass and a motorcycle (named Lucifer) for this kick-butting heroine to save everything she loves.

When every last technology-obsessed human is kidnapped from the Earth what choice do you have as one of the last two but to accept the conditions? At the age of 19 years, Lara Hall has seen little of the planet she calls home. When she's called upon to fulfil her 'purpose', unworldly, naïve Lara only has one choice if she's to save her mother and the human race. In the year 2567, the immortal and robotic 'Leto' have take control of the world and offered Lara a deal; fall in love with the last male, Jared... ...In 90 days. Relunctantly Lara agrees. The only snag in this seemingly perfect deal is that Lara and Jared are complete opposites. She's loving and kind; he cannot love. She's normally polite and friendly; he's cold-hearted and rude. To fall in love Jared must reveal his true nature to Lara and she must accept him for who he is. No matter what. Would you accept the conditions? *Written when I was 14 so I like to think this is not my best work. COMPLETED FIRST BOOK IN THE '90 DAYS' SERIES Copyright © 2014 Bestfootforward All rights reserved.

They killed my family, my friends, and the only man I ever loved let alone my father. I want revenge, and one way or another, Greg Bulter will get what he deserves.

After an amusing banter at the library with a mysterious guy, Savannah hopes that it's the last she'll see of the bickering boy. Come to find out, he's a new student at her school who just so happens to be a junior, much like Savannah. He feels the need to stick around her even though she is the target for childish rumors, gave him the wrong number purposely, has all the comebacks for his pickup lines, tried to run him over with her car, constantly embarrasses him, and repeatedly tells him to 'get lost' or 'shove off.' During their many adventures, not only do they get into many bad situations but they make a few enemies along the way. Will his determination to befriend this stubborn girl spark a friendship between the two or a special kind of hatred? <><><> WARNING: I wrote this story when I was fetus- even more fetus than I am now. I was thirteen and I finished it two or three weeks after I turned 14. That means that this story has grammatical errors. So please, read at your own risk. --- I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE PICTURE IN THE COVER. I SIMPLY SLAM DUNKED SOME WORDS ONTO IT. I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE. I SIMPLY FOUND IT ON APP.