"this is your kind of story. no one is the good guy-- no one is the bad guy-- the blame shifts from monster to monster and in this place everyone bares their teeth." [featured. highest ranking: #6 in poetry.]

A criminal in all kingdoms' eyes, X is wanted for everything by everyone. As he drifts through solitude, fate presents him with three kids, each of which he signs a contract with, promising to fulfill their wishes. A hotheaded prince, aspiring to rule as incredibly as his father; an abandoned princess, born a slave, wishing to avenge her mother and continue her revolution; a rowdy pirate, her heart set on glory. The three of them are forced to train under X together, having to deal with criminal offenses, moral greys, ruthless trials, and each other.

A new vampire has encountered a dilemma - she's broke. Not aging has proven strange and she's forgotten some of her usual responsibilities. Her freelance artistry isn't cutting it for rent and she's forced to look for a new apartment, preferably with a roommate. In her search she stumbles upon a tired witch, three centuries under his belt, who takes her up on her offer to move in and split the rent, though in doing so she finds herself in a world far deeper than it had seemed when she first turned. A bitter vampire hunter, a siren, her roommate's raccoon familiar, and a demon named Tymos leave her reeling and confused as she struggles to sort her own mind out.