Dan Howell is invisible. That's all he knows how to be. Terrified of standing out, he is happy going unnoticed by his peers, finding company in only the old rock and roll songs on his iPod. But Dan's life is turned upside-down when a boy in his drama class takes him under his wing, introducing him to a world of excitement he never could have imagined. Through the good and the bad, Dan's new life thrills him and leaves him wondering ...what does it mean to truly be alive? pairs: Phan and KickTheStickz tw: language, sexual content, abuse, depression, death, suicide, medication, drugs, parents, alcohol ENTIRELY WRITTEN FROM DAN'S POV Note: This fic features no main character death, only mentions of death.

Dan is different. He's learned to accept that. Well, as best he can anyway, considering he's never really had much of a choice. It's been this way for as long as he can remember, the constant runaround process of trying to feel normal. His life is built around it, trying to trick both himself and everyone he interacts with into seeing him as your average person. The isolation as he desperately tries to keep others from finding out, the bitterness that wells up inside of him each and every time he's reminded that he'll never be like everyone else, the fear that nothing will ever change. He's fated to be this way forever; a misfit from society. Isolation can only go so far though, so when he's struggling to make ends meet and he's faced with the option of looking into a serious job or taking on a roommate, he opts for what seems like the easier option at the time. It doesn't seem so easy ten failed roommates into the process, or when he sits down at a table to meet with prospect number eleven and ends up with a coffee spilled all over his lap. Potential roommate number eleven, Phil, turns out to be an insufferable optimistic ball of sunshine that Dan wants nothing to do with. His options are running out though, as are the savings he's been using to pay his rent, so he finds himself begrudgingly agreeing to let the other man move in. Neither of them have any way of knowing just what they've gotten themselves into as they shake on the matter, but time will tell.