It's just a letter I found that my best friend had written to self harm and I thought I would share it. I wish I had the balls to be like this. Hope you enjoy it!

Amanda Rose is too young for her best friend to be dead. She went to bed to one world and woke up to an entirely different one the next morning when her best friend, Roxanne, committed suicide, leaving Amanda behind with only one missed phone call, a message she can't bring herself to listen to. And then comes in Orion Mathers, Roxanne's ex-boyfriend and the reason why everyone in Madison high school turned on Roxanne. Amanda blames him for what happened since to her nothing was wrong until he revealed her unusual eating disorder. But then, to honor her best friend, a former model, Amanda decides to take part in modeling competitions in her place in hopes that if she won, things would start to make sense again. But she soon finds out, the deeper she gets into the model world, the harder it is to come out. She sheds being Amanda, the boring, shy friend of the dead girl and becomes Mandy, the more outspoken, beautiful girl. Mandy is distant toward her family, develops an eating disorder of her own, and just wants to win. Her family, her wild child sister, and even Orion urge her to stop but she can't now. Maybe not ever. 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭. (𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐀 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨

So what do you do when a deliciously handsome guy breaks into your apartment on Christmas Eve wearing a Santa hat? Some might call the police or maybe scream. Or you could do what Evangeline does, which include the following: 1, point a water gun at him. 2, agree about the ugliness of small, pink tree with kitten ornaments from your stepfather's ex-wife. 3, go to a playground and bury said ugly tree. 4, begin to like the tree burying, Santa hat wearing intruder. So, if you ever find yourself in Evangeline's spot, just call the police.

WATTPAD ORIGINAL EDITION Everyone knew Clara was in love with Griffin, the most popular and perfect kid at school - so no one understands why her older sister, Emily, murdered him. ***** Golden boy Griffin Tomlin is found dead, floating in his pool, the morning after his family's Labor Day party. Clara Portfield's older sister, Emily, is arrested for his murder. No one knows why she killed him - except for Clara. The mystery is uncovered in dual timelines: In the present, Clara, burdened by a heavy secret, struggles with the aftermath of the murder. And In a series of flashbacks, the events that brought Clara, Emily and Griffin together are revealed: a crush, an obsession and a shocking twist. (𝐏𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬) 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐋𝐓

“Love’s like a bullet. It’s fast. It’s furious. Sometimes you can’t see it coming. You can run from it. But you can’t dodge it. Unless someone stands in your way…” Growing up, Callie Tollson had always admired her older brother, Clay, for being exactly who he wanted to be…despite the consequences he faced doing so. With their roles reversed, Callie had always been the one to stand up for Clay when he was in harm’s way. She always thought this was enough. She thought she was able to protect him. That is until he turned the tables and unleashed harm back on those who had done it to him. She couldn’t understand why, being the one who stood up for him the most, she was the one he picked as the receiver for the final bullet in his gun. Now she’s the most feared girl in school with a haunting family tie to keep her stuck in the halls of Riverton High. As she tries to survive the rest of her junior year as the sister of the boy who brought a gun to school, she soon realizes she owes nothing to the boy who turned on her and everything to the boy who saved her life.

Ella was beautiful. Ella was fast. Ella was gone. Ella was never coming back.