❝it's all lies, darling.❞

WATTPAD ORIGINAL EDITION Seven letters, seven confessions, seven clues. Elliot Parker has what he needs to find out who killed his best friend... But is he hunting down the killer? Or is the killer hunting him? ***** When Colton Crest returns, unharmed, to his small town after mysteriously disappearing for two months, his best friend Elliot Parker breathes a sigh of relief. But days later, on the night before graduation, Elliot finds Colton in the lake. Dead. And on the day of his funeral, Elliot finds a letter in his jacket pocket with four words that send him spiralling: I killed Colton Crest. There are six more letters to find, six more confessions about Colton, six more clues to uncover why he was murdered. Elliot has no choice but to play this sick scavenger hunt, and with each new revelation, he begins to question whether he really knew Colton - or anyone else in that little town of dark secrets. [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!***** WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15) In the end, the robots win. But you already knew that. "Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't. Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels? You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see. I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done. Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)

Blue feelings, poetry writing, time killing.

Draco gave a cocky grin. "I am going to give you a makeover." "I'm sorry what?" "You heard me Granger, I'm going to give you a makeover that will make every man want you,and make Weasley die of regret. You will be simply irresistible." Now Complete!

These are the stories of my cleaning days, my invisible days, my soooooo lost I got found days. You do have to get lost before you can be found. It's just the way it is! Here's a bit of my lost days stories and my coming through to the other side of nearly two decades of struggling with Idiot. Idiot, at one time, was thought to be my high school sweet heart. But honey, there ain't nothing sweet about this man's heart! Choosing to be 'The Cleaning Lady' really helped me clean house you might say. As 'The Cleaning Lady' I see everything that goes on in a home, in a family, in the lives of those that open their doors to me. I see everything and in turn that opens doors to life lessons I never imagined, and characters, people, I will never forget! From the corporate life desk job, to the mop and bucket to be an 'almost' at home mom, the situations become almost unbelievable. But believe them, they are almost all true :) ----- ----- ----- WANT MORE? Follow MacJanny on Facebook :) https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010381951356

PERSONAL ASSISTANT NEEDED. People skills optional. Ability to take drink orders preferred. Personal mode of transport a MUST. To Reply, Contact Dr. M's home office: 1-555-TRBLE-4-U (Idiots and those prone to knock-knock jokes need not apply.) ◎ ◎ ◎ Nobody in their right mind would respond to a help wanted listing so vague. Enter, Robin Banks. The wacky exploits of a narcoleptic super villain and his reluctant sidekick. [COMPLETED FIRST DRAFT - #22 in Humor on 4/12/15]

Seven cousins, a blackmailer, a grudged teacher, a secret admirer, a desperate student, and a stalker is too much to handle. Not to mention a certain blue eyed boy with a twitchy eye and flattering tongue. That's not all! Why did the most annoying guy at school stop bothering her? Did he really have a change of heart? Or is there an ulterior motive behind it? Or it might be that her revenge schemes finally made him give up. What is her past, no one knows. She stopped asking questions years ago. Will the secret of her parent's death ever unravel? What does the box that was left for her when she was two contain? What will change her life? All it takes is just one twist! ~~~ I saw him leaning against his shiny silver car. When I walked by, he smiled and nodded. I looked behind me, but I saw no one else there. What just happened? I looked at him again and he did something else. He winked. I blushed like a girl and my heart fluttered. 'He's tricking you,' my mind scolded my heart. But I couldn't help thinking, 'maybe going to the party tonight won't be so bad after all.' A teen fiction with loads of humour, a tea spoon of mystery and a sprinkling of romance.

"A meme a day, keeps the fangirling at bay" Lol I have no wit, because I'm a twit [oh look, I'm a poet and I didn't even know it] A bunch of Marvel Memes + my own terrible comments about it (and facts too maybe) because I'm a little bit too obsessed and I have wayy too many of these little bad boys lying around :) I own NOTHING except for Marvel. M stan lee bich Also, around the 50 something chapter mark I started to offer updates and things going on in the MCU but I think nobody gives a shit :/// "one does not simply, pronounce meme incorrectly." * * * Le edit So I'm also making this into some sort of trash book. Have no fear, the memes will still be here OH MY GOSH I RHYMED AGAIN ASFHSKSOPAA Enjoy