sarcastic shit bcos sometimes i try hard bwahah
5 stories
The End of Summer by makeandoffer
makeandoffer
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Summer Jacobs knew full well about her town’s tradition. Every year at the end of the summer, a party would be held on school grounds without the knowledge of the parents or the teachers. It had been happening since before Summer was born and never once was anyone the wiser. This year however, everyone was going to find out. Summer had planned a weekend of alcohol, bad decisions and horrendous photo’s which she would later un-tag herself from on Facebook. A whole weekend with her friends at the biggest party of the year, without any worries or parents telling her what to do. So how she ended up trapped in the school with a deranged psycho killing her classmates off one by one, she will never know. It wouldn’t have been as bad if she was trapped on her own. She would have been happier to face the lunatic solo rather than be trapped with a guy who kept using the life or death situation to make passes at her. His theory was being so close to death should definitely loosen her up, and by ‘loosen up’ he definitely meant ‘get naked.’ Along with his friends who between them had the IQ of a baby tree stump, an outcast who probably still had Spiderman bed sheets and the cheerleaders who were more worried about all the blood staining their new white jeans, they had to somehow make it out of there alive. And to think, Summer’s biggest worry that weekend was waking up with a brutal hangover… ©makeandoffer
sarcasm at its finest by bangthejoshdrums
bangthejoshdrums
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rants, opinions and more reasons to hate me.
bumbling about by bangthejoshdrums
bangthejoshdrums
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awkward (adjective) awk•ward description: /1/ not smooth or graceful /2/ causing difficulty /3/ deliberately unreasonable (eg. you're being awkward!) /4/ me
Meet the Baxtards by 3pointt14
3pointt14
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The family burns basics. Trashes tropes. Their daughter isn't out for blood. She's out for the person who started the cliche that ended her. ✯ ✯ ✯ "Even though I dip your toothbrush in the toilet bowl, excessively steal your clothes, purposefully annoy the hell out of you, and wish at every 11:11 that you'd be in a body bag the next morning - you're still my sister. And we will always have one another's back." ✯ ✯ ✯ "You're a cute banana." "Excuse me?" "Yellow on the outside, white on the inside." He read my silence as confusion and added, "Your little brother there is an Oreo; black on the outside, white on the inside. Your pretty sister over there is a coconut; brown on the outside, white on-" "What the shit. That's how you want to hit on me?" +++ Wendzel Baxtard, a feminist killjoy armed with heavy loads of sarcasm and marinates herself in self-respect, is ready to destroy the ethnic slurs and derogatory terms that were brought on her because of the clothes she wore and her sexual behaviors.
[ON HOLD] 36 Students in a Classroom by AwesomelyBlaze
AwesomelyBlaze
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Update: This story has been discontinued. - I am terribly sorry. Your mother lied to you. She told you that you were unique, and that as a teenager you have a whole bunch of options you can choose from to determine who you want to be. She must have been high. Look, I'm going to tell you this honestly. Somewhere out there in this floating sphere of green and blue, there's a person who acts just like you. It's the combinations of different personalities - which eventually lead up to an actual human being - that makes us all unique. But it can't hurt to find out where your personality stems from, right? Wanna know who you are? I'll help you out. There are 36 students in my classroom. Which one are you?