Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Available as an audiobook on audible, iTunes and wattpad band camp! Be sure to check the new version out to hear the characters come to life! "And rule number three, knock before you enter my room," I finished, moving my fore finger down with the instruction. His smirk widened as he leaned on my door frame. "What happens if I don't follow your petty little rules?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes. "You'll sincerely regret it," I warned but he merely grinned. "I take that as a challenge." Being the sister of Britain's most honored young scientist isn't something that Alex Simmons feels she can live up to. So, in protest of her parent's high expectations, she doesn't even try. That changes the day that she's forced to move in with her older cousin and his best friend to attend her final year of college. Living with one teenage male is hard enough, let alone a pigheaded,rebellious and drop dead gorgeous lodger. Asher Toms only has one goal and that is to reach the finals of his motorbiking championships. When Alex crashes into his life, concentrating on anything but his best friend's little cousin becomes increasingly difficult. As the pair grow closer through relentless bathroom battles, silly arrests and a set of rules to abide by, Alex figures out that there's a lot more to Ash than just a badass motorbike and a pretty face, some things in his past were meant to stay hidden. But what's a romantic adventure without a few obstacles?

"You need to know," James says while he pulls on his hoodie, "that I'm not interested in a relationship." He swallows, staring at the wall as if there's something hidden inside of it. He turns back to me, "I just want a friend." Tara Williams wants to leave. She wants to get out of little Queensland, Alabama. Get away from all the pressure and expectations that fall upon her thanks to her older, more successful siblings. And James Braxton is just the guy to help her with that.

"How do you stand your ground when everyone you know wants to bury you beneath it?" -Shane Koyczan #280 in Short Story WARNING: This story deals with issues like depression and self-harm.

Reece Bremer goes through life with a scowl and cold personality. Jessica Andrews goes through life with a glowing smile and positive outlook. Reece looks at life with dull, judgmental eyes that make him hate the world and the people living in it. Jessica, well... She looks at life through a camera. Literally. They're polar opposites, and that's what sparks Reece's immediate hate for Jessica the moment they meet. All he sees is a girl with the best life, put in the category of those who get everything handed to them on a silver platter. But who says Jessica's life is like that? Just like a photograph, there's more to the story than what you see. Stumbling across one of Jessica's hidden portfolio might reveal that her happiness isn't all that true. Behind that smile and each picture she takes, holds a thousand words of a very big secret - one that Reece is determined to find out. And who knows? It just might change everything between them. cover by dysanic || 2015 watty's winner for talk of the town ||

For with God nothing shall be impossible. (Luke 1:37) ~~~~~ Jasper is a screwed up kid, yet no one cares enough to find out why. Bruises hide his arms and alcohol stains the walls of his house, but he pushes forward because it's the only thing left for him to do. His days are spent in and out of the school psychologist's office, while his nights are spent in fear of his father. His guitar and the secluded spot by the train tracks where he likes to play are the only saving graces in the hell that is his life. No one disrupted this normal routine until Callie came. Callie is far from screwed up; she doesn't have family issues and doesn't understand the first thing about Jasper's world. Her house is filled with answered prayers and smiles of people who love each other. Her arms are clear and her head is full of optimism that Jasper doesn't buy for a second. She never second guessed her sunny disposition on life until she stumbled upon a boy and his guitar down by the train tracks. Callie and Jasper weren't supposed to cross paths. She wasn't supposed to care and he wasn't supposed to let her get under his skin, but then again opposites weren't supposed to attract either. Callie saw the good in him where most people thought there was none ; she was captivated by Jasper because he made her question everything she knew about the world. She thought it would be easy to teach him that there was still good left in the world, that there was more beyond all the bad he'd become accustomed to. She thought fixing him would be easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy and sometimes it takes more than one girl's overly optimistic persistence to pull a person out of the hell they've been living in; sometimes it takes faith and realizing that some things can't be done without it... ~~~~~ -Highest Ranking: #8 in spiritual, 10/25/17 ; #1 in Christianity, 2019 -Wattpad Featured Novel: 10/19/17

She's everything he never thought he'd need. She's his dash of whiskey in a teacup..... Whiskey in a Teacup, is the story of one man's journey from the darkest of despair, to the discovery of light in the most unexpected of sources. Danny Delaney has the world ripped from beneath his feet, as a catalogue of painful encounters threaten to destroy him. Just as he begins to lose his grip, he meets a woman vastly different to anyone he has ever met before. Whiskey in a Teacup is a tale of betrayal, self discovery, and having the courage to take a leap of faith.

She wasn't that drunk. So the six-foot something creature rummaging through her fridge half-naked, at eight in the morning was real. Now here's the tinsy winsy problem; She lives alone. ------------------------------------------------ Let's just say Catherine Wright wasn't having the best day. Everything just wasn't going well-right. So after a couple of sips of wine, she ended up 'praying' for some kind of distraction instead. Who knew the heavens answered prayers from drunk women. Now Damon Grace would be exactly what she asked for. And a few other things that would make her wish she never drank at all. (p.s. It wouldn't hurt to check the tags this story is on) Copyright © 2015 Liz Martinez All Rights Reserved

"Not just a flavour, but a way of life." When seventeen-year-old Flo Kennedy is forced to up sticks and trade her life in London for a sleepy seaside town on the south coast, she's anything but excited. Walden-on-Sea could win awards for being Britain's dullest town, and with a population consisting almost entirely of over sixties, teenagers are an endangered species. Silently struggling with her parents' death and separation from her sister, Flo's convinced she's in for the worst summer of her life. But when she meets the guy in the ice cream shop, things start to change. It's not long before she lands herself a job, a new set of friends and maybe even the beginnings of first romance. For the first time in several years, she's happy. But Flo knows all too well that things can't stay perfect forever, and after all, being on top of the world only gives you further to fall.

"L-listen... I know, I-" he started, his voice sounding heavy and muffled from the tears that were starting to form. "I'm upset, too. W-we can forget-" I stopped his words by shoving him against the wall and kissing the heck out of his lips. I couldn't stop, I didn't care about it being disgusting -- because it didn't feel that way, it didn't feel wrong, and no one was there to tell me it was. (LGBT themes).