He was a billionaire, I was a bellboy, can I make it anymore obvious? It all started one fateful afternoon in summer of 2012. I was working as a bellboy at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong on an internship program. This was my first time in a big city. It was all I could have ever dreamed of, and more. But little did I know, it was all about to change. Follow me on twitter.com/aguywithnolife Please note, this story may contain mature humor that isn't suitable for all ages.

Poot Lovato, just your ordinary girl...except for the fact she's been locked in her basement for over 20 years. She is troubled, constantly calling people fatties and flicking them in the vagina. Outshone by her twin, Demi Lovato, Poot has finally escaped her prison and is ready for stardom. Will Poot be able to handle the demands of fame? Will she get caught and sent back to her basement? How will she deal with her vagina flicking problems? Find out in this riveting, non-fictional, nail-biting story, Poot: A Tale of Love, Loss, and Freedom.