Is this what loss feels like? No, no something more parlous. Trepidation? I was definitely feeling some of that right now, although that didn't quite describe this situation either. I needed a word that really put it to you, something that said I knew the pressure of my forthcoming doom, and I was helplessly and utterly screwed. Shuffed. The feeling of my abdomen being nuked thirteen times and the explosion rising up into my throat sitting by and rushing at the chance to course past my lips, could only be related by the word shuffed. Look at me, making up new words while the world is having a midlife crisis, dumping us for the sun. Thanks earth, love you too.