"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

❝hi this is Panda Express, how may I help you?❞ ❝can i have one order of general tso's chicken? hold the chicken, double the vegetables.❞ ❝how in the world is that general tso's chicken?❞ ☂ lowercase intended. story inspired by many others. ☂ -- just a pinch of love #1 -- #339 in humor 1/2/15

Avril Bright always felt like she was different, but never in her wildest dreams would she imagine that she was that different. When Avril literally runs into a boy and is greeted with a scowl and glare her whole life is changed forever. She's forced into a new foreign environment where the hot headed, trouble following girl learns who she really is and what exactly is so special about her. She's not human and you could consider her an alien from a different planet, but even there she's different. Romance. Teen Fiction. Humor. Fantasy. Adventure. Action. And a whole lot of imagination. -------------- Copyright © tlwsweety2, 2011. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, modified, adapted, or distributed in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author.

They say i'm the Beauty and he's the Beast, but my life is far from a fairy tale. I thought I had everything figured out, I thought I knew what was real and what was fantasy but this trip has been anything but normal. ------- "You've dragged me to hell and back but I would do it again if I get to call you mine. We're anything but normal. A marine and a werewolf, not exactly a match made in heaven........or was it?" ~~~~~~ Completed

(COMPLETED) Charlotte Summers is the last virgin in her school; a school where taking virginity is a sport. The sport has five main contenders: Tyler Bradshaw, the mysterious bad boy; Alec Jennings, the all-star athlete; Ian Jameson, the cocky rich guy; Beckett Cartwright, the renowned genius; and Lucas Chandler, her best friend. With all these guys determined to win the title of the Virginator, will Charlotte make it out alive with her virginity? tumblr link for pictures: http://thelastvirginstanding.tumblr.com/ Cover by @WeAreAHurricane [#4 Teen Fiction / #4 Humor]

Juliet Williams aka Leopard is an underground street fighter but no one knows about it and she plans to keep it that way…that is until the new bad boy Ashton comes in. He is intrigued by the mysterious girl and is determined to find out why she became a street fighter

Everybody knows Rose is a a weak nerd. Everybody in school that is, but she has a secret one that no one can know. What happens if a certain bad boy finds out. Will she be able to keep her secret, and her temper.

I see the pigskin flying through the air. I block the running back and run towards the ball. My hands open, waiting to feel the ball in my hands. The feeling never comes. I turn to see a giant, 200 pound man running towards me at full speed. My mind doesn't process it until it's to late. All of the sudden I'm weightless and can't feel the ground underneath me. Then I feel the sickening crunch as my back hits the fake grass. I feel like I'm being dragged across the ground as my momentum launches me forward. I flip over and my shoulder hits the ground with a solid thud. That's not the worst part. My helmet goes soaring through the air and it's so quite, I can hear it land. I see my helmet on the ground and know it's too late. Jess Arthur, a quiet, shy girl is suddenly thrust back into Football, a game not only one of her her favorites, but her most feared. She knows that the guys would never accept her, so she disguises her self as Wolf, a masked player. Nothing could go wrong, right?