Dan Howell secretly loves Phil Lester. Phil Lester secretly loves Dan Howell. Dan Howell is bullied. Phil Lester is best friends with Dan's bully. Dan Howell wants to die. Phil Lester is too afraid to stop him.

Phil Lester is sweet and cute; known for his kindness and enthusiasm. Dan Howell is a tough, cold outsider; known as the school's stereotypical 'bad boy'. But if he's so bad, then why on earth did he rescue Phil Lester and give him a smile which would melt anyone's heart?

Dan is different. He's learned to accept that. Well, as best he can anyway, considering he's never really had much of a choice. It's been this way for as long as he can remember, the constant runaround process of trying to feel normal. His life is built around it, trying to trick both himself and everyone he interacts with into seeing him as your average person. The isolation as he desperately tries to keep others from finding out, the bitterness that wells up inside of him each and every time he's reminded that he'll never be like everyone else, the fear that nothing will ever change. He's fated to be this way forever; a misfit from society. Isolation can only go so far though, so when he's struggling to make ends meet and he's faced with the option of looking into a serious job or taking on a roommate, he opts for what seems like the easier option at the time. It doesn't seem so easy ten failed roommates into the process, or when he sits down at a table to meet with prospect number eleven and ends up with a coffee spilled all over his lap. Potential roommate number eleven, Phil, turns out to be an insufferable optimistic ball of sunshine that Dan wants nothing to do with. His options are running out though, as are the savings he's been using to pay his rent, so he finds himself begrudgingly agreeing to let the other man move in. Neither of them have any way of knowing just what they've gotten themselves into as they shake on the matter, but time will tell.

It's not every day that you get kidnapped along with your best friend... Dan Howell is about to discover he's involved in the most sick, twisted game ever. One in which he must decide who gets the daily beatings out of him and his best friend Phil Lester. However, this sudden change in lifestyle brings new opportunities for the two lads; opportunities in which they couldn't have comprehended before they were taken. As more beatings are took each day, Dan finds out just how much Phil cares for him and just what he would do to save him. But will they both survive or will it all become too much?

"Are you insane or are you just that broken?" he whispered, his face inches from mine. "I'm a little bit of both," I admitted, looking into his eyes. "A trip into my mind would be a trip into a nightmare."

Part 1 of the infamous series. Feelings appear. Sparks fly. Love rises. Problems occur. Please note: This story is now very old (7 years old in 2020) and I'd like to think my writing has improved since then! There are a bunch of cringey parts and bad writing in here, but enjoy and thanks for reading! :)

A boy raised around religion and the discounts for sin, Phil Lester is definitely not one to go around looking for trouble. With his father being the vicar of their local church, Phil has a lot to live up to and has to keep his reputation high if he's to be accepted. He doesn't do parties or drinking; the thought of sex alone is enough to terrify him. So it's no wonder that when Dan Howell, a boy who embraces the life of parties and rebellious acts, shows up to join the church program, Phil starts having trouble keeping himself sane as he tries to teach Dan the path to God. But, religion isn't the thing on Dans mind and he seems to find himself a new toy to play with. [warning: this does contain violence and mature content (as shown) and there's a lot on the topic of homosexuality and negative views towards it from characters in the story. Please read on with care <3]

Dan Howell is a timid boy, who always does as he is told. He was once friends with Phil Lester, the 'bad influence' who soon ditches Dan for the popular group in Year 7. After five years of not talking to each other, they're partnered in a project and Phil's wants to win Dan over just like he has with most of their year. But yet, Dan is determined to find out what Phil is hiding behind his arrogant mask.