"We are the Christmas Crusade, here to- Oh shit, who the hell hangs metal candy canes above the fireplace, what is wrong with you!" In which a a reindeer hating Moose, Santa Claus, and a Jewish elf try to bring the Christmas spirit by breaking into the mayor's house, remaking the Polar Express, and kidnapping Dylan O'Brien. Ho, ho, ho no [unedited] cover made by offline-

"You'd love me? Even if it's not you who I choose?" I whispered to him. "Even if," he swore. *_*

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!