- dan always hated the idea of secret admirers. - that is, until phil came along. [punk!phil x pastel!dan] ::::

"Why do you think you have to base yourself off what others think of you? Why can't you just be yourself for you?" I looked at him, befuddled. "How would you possibly know I do that?" I scoffed. He looked back to me this time, looking deep into my eyes. "I just know. I know that behind that pretty face of yours, you've got an even prettier personality. Show the world!" Dan will do anything to be the same as everyone else. Phil will do anything to not.

Dan Howell is not a happy person. He relies on any type of high to get him through each day and he's never been in love with any girl he's dated. His parents want him to marry his girlfriend of two years, but he can't bring himself to marry someone he doesn't love, and who doesn't love him. He meets a man named Phil. Phil is so great, and has a lot in common with Dan. You'd think they'd be the perfect couple after they hit it off after only a day of knowing each other and become fast friends. Too bad they're both straight. Too bad his job causes him to lie to Phil perpetually. Too bad his feelings cause him to lie to Phil constantly. Can you look anyone in the eye and tell them you love them when you're lying about who you are? How long can you live on lies before everything falls apart? //Gay slang : Extensive Drug and Alcohol usage : mentions of depression and suicide : extensive strong language : Explicit sexual content

SECOND BOOK IN THE 'STAINED' SERIES After running away together, Dan and Phil live their life in London, keeping their past locked up. Either way, nothing has changed. In fact, things have gotten worse for the two boys. After Dan pulled the trigger on the gun, he hasn't been the same since. Dan and Phil are now the most wanted criminals in the UK for many things, but one crime strains their relationship forever last: murder. [rated R for language, violence and/or gore]

*'BEST SERIES' WINNER (FANFICTION AWARDS 2017)* FIRST BOOK IN THE 'STAINED' SERIES Meet Phil Lester, a bad boy with blood on his hands. Literally. After one night strikes, Phil turns to a group of serial killers as a distraction and soon he finds himself with a trail of dead bodies at his own fault. Meet Dan Howell, a shy boy with flowers in his hair and nail polish on his fingers. Friendless and full of anxiety, he remains alone, until said serial killer with tattoos and piercings sits right next to him in the same support group. Phil finds himself falling for Dan when his mission is to kill him, and he wants to get close, even if that means spilling the unwanted truth- and a bit of blood. (punk!phil meets pastel!dan) [rated R for language and violence/gore]

cover by AmazingSkylar - TRIGGER WARNING - automutilation and attempted suicide.

*SPOILERS DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVENT READ THE LAST STORY* Dan never thought he would be forgotten, but he's proved wrong. With his daughter, Dandelion starting high school, the stress of it all makes her forget all about her father. Phil also forgets about Dan at times, and although he's happy, it hurts Dan. Dan comes back into the Lester household in a different light to try and get them to remember him again. Will Dan succeed, or will he always be a forgotten flower?

[completed] philly: who's this? danhowell: your future husband ; copyright © 2016 //highest ranking: #4

"Are you insane or are you just that broken?" he whispered, his face inches from mine. "I'm a little bit of both," I admitted, looking into his eyes. "A trip into my mind would be a trip into a nightmare."

used to be #1 in fanfiction not my story. link is in story.