A battle shall be fought today. Only one can triumph.

They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

COMPLETE These feelings were just a bug. A bug Alphys couldn't figure out. That's all that Mettaton knew, because after all, he was a robot and you were a human. He ran on batteries, and you ran on food. He had variables and you had hormones. The difference between the two of you could not have been larger.

Your best friend is an aspiring celebrity, who happens to hate Mettaton. But you both travel to his show to gain popularity. You loved Mettaton and his work, but you really didn't want to be on stage. But when an unexpected event happens, what will you do when you are face-to-face with the spotlight? (currently working on making this story gender neutral!) And thank you to whoever made the absolutely beautiful picture I used for the cover! All fan-art used in this book is owned by its original creators, not me. Undertale is owned by Toby Fox. SPOILERS COMPLETED (for now) READ! PREVIOUSLY PONYGENIUS13 (I CHANGED MY NAME)

Did you ever wonder what The X-Files looks like from the "monster's" perspective? I did... But can you guess who's who?

Abbie Mills sacrificed herself to save the world. She's gone now, but is she really, completely, 100% dead? Will she find a way to come back to the people she loves? Will Ichabod finally get the chance to tell Abbie what he should have told her long ago? (SPOILERS: No. Yes. Yes.)

Mulder is kidnapped by a female serial killer that has made her way into the X-Files. But the problem is, unlike usual, Scully doesn't rush in last minute and save him. She doesn't come and snatch him away from the horror. Nor does she come an hour late. Nor does she come the next day, even. In fact, she doesn't save him until a week later. A week of torture, pain, and constant fear. A week of constantly expecting Scully to kick the door down and save him. A week that destroys Fox Mulder's mind. Mulder thinks that he can handle it, but it soon becomes evident that he can't. And the worst part? Scully isn't quite sure that she can fix it. -Rated PG-13 for •References to torture (no detailed scenes, though) •Self-harm (again, no overly-detailed scenes) •Extreme sadness in relation to Fox Mulder •I should also rate it PG-13 since a serial killer is involved -Extreme feels attacks possible- -Not set to a specific season-

Nope I'm not the worlds most drop dead gorgeous beauty. Nope I'm not super rich or noticeably poor. Nope I haven't experienced some life altering incident that happened in the past to shape my future. Nope I'm not popular or unpopular. And no this is not a tale of epic proportions ending in a sweet love story. This is a tale about me, Moia Brown. A true to the soul, normal girl. Short, mundane, journal entry styled story chronicling the day to day moments of an normal African American girl who is in fact normal. With none of your everyday story book clichés added into the mixture. So if you're looking for an unrealistically good time then Moia's book is not for you!

The last time you visited the mysterious Gravity Falls was when you were five, and now you're fifteen. Ten years you haven't been to Gravity Falls but you haven't forgotten about it. Your cousin, Wendy, informs you of all that has been happening. Last summer, she told you how two kids, named Dipper and Mabel, saved Gravity Falls from a dream demon. You are curious to know if this dream demon is really dead or alive? You believe your questions will soon be answered when your parents tell you that they are taking a trip back to Gravity Falls. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gravity Falls!

Mettaton is the sexiest robot.