"It's much harder to stay hidden from the Dark Lord when you're in love with a Death Eater." Evelyn Hawkings' parents were well-known Death Eaters, but they died when the Dark Lord fell and Eve was only an infant. Now fifteen years have passed and Voldemort is back, and Eve has changed her last name to stay hidden from him. She lives a quiet life, staying out of trouble and avoiding the life of a Death Eater...but everything changes when she meets Draco Malfoy. He's the bad boy, the guy everyone avoids if they know what's good for them. But what happens when the bad boy meets someone completely different? What happens when Draco Malfoy, against all odds, falls head over heels for one girl? Which will come first, the girl he loves...or his reputation as a Death Eater? What will he do when he finds the bird that can finally set him free? A Draco Malfoy love story.

Emma van der Bilt is clever, snarky, and spoiled rotten. William Knight is cocky, impatient, and slightly dimwitted. So how exactly did Will manage to kidnap Emma and her best friend twice and live to talk about it? *** "What the hell-" I screeched. "Good morning, sunshine." I looked up in alarm and saw the smirking face of my kidnapper. His face would have made me a lot angrier had it not been terribly swollen, thanks to yours truly. "I'd say good morning, but judging by the boner on your face, I'd say you weren't having such a good morning." His self-satisfied smirk fell almost instantly, and his partner-in-crime laughed out loud from the driver's seat. "Actually," he said, "I'm having a pretty good morning. My luck's about to change. You wanna know why?" I didn't answer. "I'll tell you why. I've successfully kidnapped the daughter of one of the richest men in the country." "Don't start counting your lucky stars just yet. This isn't over yet," I snapped. "Isn't it?" he asked, raising the eyebrow above his good eye. His other one remained in a permanent squint, and it made it kind of hard to take him seriously. "I'm not the one who's naked and tied up in a stranger's back seat." I glanced down at myself and noticed for the first time that I was in my bra and panties. Honestly, I was kind of relieved. When he'd said "naked," I'd assumed he meant birthday-suit naked, not half-naked. *** Warning: Rated PG-13 for sexual content and language. Mostly language. I have a colorful vocabulary.

Meet typical tumblr white bitch Kit Kat Fabberdeen, District 12 tribute for the annual "The Hipster Games" A game where 24 basic hoes are flung into a heartless arena and are made to fight till death for the ultimate prize of - Unlimited Starbucks. Our heroine Kit Kat must show her skills in credit card slicing, stiletto stabbing to win the prize, the games and the hearts of the Captiol citizens. She faces the brutal challenges of no wifi, fake wannabes, cheap eyeshadow, an annoying Mexican baker, but the real question is - will she survive? _______ If you loved "The Hunger Games" and you love parody fanfics then this is the book for you!

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!