❝Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?❞ Just a couple conversations for shits and giggles between four idiotic beings on how to be sarcastic and other necessities. [Book 2 in the "How To" series] WARNING: CONTAINS A LOT OF SWEARS AND TALKS ABOUT MATURE CONTENT.

❝hey, sweet cheeks❞ ❝do i know you?❞ ❝damn, i'm offended after all we have been through❞ ❝wrong number?❞ ❝try stolen number, babe❞ in which a boy steals a girl's number from his friends phone. ________________________________ highest ranking: #eleven in short story lowercase intended

"Don't tell me it's you again." "It is." "Oh my God." "Babe--" "No, stop." "I want to give you olive my love." #40 in short story - 16. JAN. 2016 #34 - 21/1/2016 #29 - 24/1/2016 #8 - 25/2/2016 #2 in cheese - 7/9/2018 BOOK #1 OF THE FAT FOOD SERIES

anonymous: why you gotta be so rude? alex-burke: no (c) c-araphernelia 2014 !! lowercase intended !! **pls no hate bc i wrote this a long time ago and i hate myself **

[sequel to teen helpline] ❝Hello, this is the Breakup Helpline, designed and manufactured to cater to your brokenhearted needs. How may I help you?❞ ❝My girlfriend...just cheated on me. With my best friend.❞ ❝Um..uh, hold on...oh, fuck! There's nothing on how to respond to that in these answer sheets!❞ ___________________________________________________________________ When happy-go-lucky Theo Hastings discovers his best friend has been fucking his girlfriend behind his back for the last six months, Theo's whole life has been careening on the rocks- until his cousin, Damien Carson, forces him to look for help on a helpline- a particular helpline call the 'Breakup Helpline' and there he meets sarcastic, cynical realist Serena Adams, who doesn't believe in love at all. And maybe, just maybe, Theo can change her mind. this is a tale about the hopeless romantic and the skeptical non-believer, the idealistic sentimentalist and the bitter soul, and how fate brings them together.

❝Why won't you tell me your name?❞ © CynicalCaroline 2014 All Rights Reserved.

❝i've seen you around here a lot.❞ ❝i know this is the best starbucks around.❞ ❝aren't all starbucks the same?❞ ❝no other starbucks has a girl like you.❞ -- just a pinch of love #3 -- #118 in Humor (3.12.15)

❝Oh, him? He's just that pizza guy,❞ But what if just that pizza guy turned out to be something more? copyright 2016 © holly bowen cover by @karismatic-

Kate's in her last year of high school. With one of the popular boys looking out for her, Kate's middle school and high school years came and went like a breeze. Living a sheltered life, she somehow preserved her innocent, naive and gullible traits throughout high school. Alex, one of the popular, also Kate's guardian angel, tells her endless stories about his latest fling. Having said that, Kate isn't completely clueless. She knew boys meant trouble. Unfortunately, knowing and witnessing is very much different than experiencing it firsthand and you know what they say about feelings: you can't control them. This particular year, Kate is about to learn things the hard way.

❝Hello there, this is Teen Confessions Helpline, what's the problem? Feel free to confess anything you like and we'll be there to help you every step of the way!❞ ❝I know this is heavy but I've been feeling like I kind of...want to kill myself.❞ When Damien Carson, a depressed lonely teenager, calls a teen helpline to find one reason not to kill himself, he meets optimistic and bubbly Harry Potter fangirl Eva Adams. And in a series of phone calls, fangirl freakouts, promises, weird slash fanfictions, and bondings over Harry Potter puns, maybe he'll find a reason after all. a story about heartbreak, suicide, depression, love, friendship and two misfits that fits together like torn halves of a love letter.