❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotline?❞ ---- fun conversations between two Potterheads over the Starbucks hotline. [highest rank: #6 in short story] [highest rank: #2 in short story 5/6/17]

❝Finally, someone answered.❞ "Uhm, you've been calling for the past three minutes. What the heck do you want?" ❝Isn't this the famous 'Love Line'─wait, who is this?❞ "No, it's not, you idiot. Now stop calling." ❝So... you're not looking for a partner?❞ ❝... hello? sigh... she hung up on me.❞ in which he asked for a hotline number and received a girl's number instead. [Cover by @lets-defeat-the-huns ] | slow updates | {Highest ranking: #14//shortstory & #722 memes} All Rights Reserved © 2016 LeiLani N. Warning :: If you are reading this story on any other platform other than Wattpad, you are very likely to be at risk of a malware attack. To read this story in its original, safe, form, please go to: [http://my.w.tt/UiNb/jgKY7TdvMz]

WATTPAD ORIGINAL EDITION When her initiation into her college's History Club goes awry, Sol has to come face to face with Ethan-the cute guy whose house she just broke into. ***** Soledad Gutierrez, or Sol to her friends, decides to join the History Club at her Community college. However, this club is not like other clubs: they have an initiation process and a slew of other 'extracurricular activities.' In order to join the club, Sol must break into the oldest house in her small Californian town and steal one of their forks. The club members provide all the materials to break in; she just needs to take the utensil, take a selfie in the kitchen, and get out undetected-with the fork, of course. The problem is: Ethan Winston spots Sol in his grandparent's house, and he's determined to uncover the reason behind the break-in. However, both he and Sol are thrown for a loop when feelings begin to develop between them. And as Ethan becomes suspicious of the History Club, he and Sol get tangled in an adventure none of them were expecting. [[word count: 90,000-100,000 words]] [[Wattys 2019 Winner for Young Adult + Being Published by Wattpad Books in Fall 2020]]

When Vika gets kicked out of her flat, she moves in with her friend under one condition--she must babysit Cleo--the friend's best man's cat! She doesn't expect Cleo's owner to be the cold but delectably sexy Noel. And it turns out they'll be spending a lot of time together... ***** Self-proclaimed unambitious Vika is down on her luck. She's been fired from her job, kicked out of her apartment, and now she finds herself on her best friend's fiance's couch facing writer's block and a dreary future. To top it all off, she has to earn her keep by taking care of her friends' best man's cat. Vika's their maid of honour, so she can't exactly say no to such a simple request, especially when the best man in question is the drop-dead gorgeous Noel. Soon, sparks fly between Noel and Vika, but their chemistry is put to the test as wedding duties get underway. Can they keep the fire burning long enough not to make a scene at their friends' wedding? [[word count: 60,000-70,000 words]] Cover designed by Ashley Santoro

When she's not too busy a) being a ruthless killer and a thorn in the side of the Justice Department, b) trying (and failing) to stay out of family drama, or c) planning the occasional heist (on weekends only, of course), you can find Zenon enjoying a competitive game of water polo at Carlton Prep, one of the most prestigious private schools in the country.

❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer reviews? How many stars out of five?❞ ❝What are yo- oh my god, I'm going to fucking kill Marie.❞ (alternatively called: a lot of people shit with pens) written in dialogue // cover by xhemmingshugsx

❝Hello there, this is Teen Confessions Helpline, what's the problem? Feel free to confess anything you like and we'll be there to help you every step of the way!❞ ❝I know this is heavy but I've been feeling like I kind of...want to kill myself.❞ When Damien Carson, a depressed lonely teenager, calls a teen helpline to find one reason not to kill himself, he meets optimistic and bubbly Harry Potter fangirl Eva Adams. And in a series of phone calls, fangirl freakouts, promises, weird slash fanfictions, and bondings over Harry Potter puns, maybe he'll find a reason after all. a story about heartbreak, suicide, depression, love, friendship and two misfits that fits together like torn halves of a love letter.

'You're one of us now.' Cassidy Taylor was arrested for a crime she did not commit, which was trying to smuggle a ticking bomb (in her powder blue Gucci handbag) into France while on summer break. The only way that she would be able to get out of jail early is to find the person who placed the bomb in her bag and to prove that she did not want the Eiffel tower to explode. Which she will. Hopefully. But till then, she has to share a cell with a sullen boy her age, along with some of his 'friends' (who she just knows were members of the mafia at some point) locked up in the adjacent rooms. For a very, very long time. Copyright, phillips_

[sequel to teen helpline] ❝Hello, this is the Breakup Helpline, designed and manufactured to cater to your brokenhearted needs. How may I help you?❞ ❝My girlfriend...just cheated on me. With my best friend.❞ ❝Um..uh, hold on...oh, fuck! There's nothing on how to respond to that in these answer sheets!❞ ___________________________________________________________________ When happy-go-lucky Theo Hastings discovers his best friend has been fucking his girlfriend behind his back for the last six months, Theo's whole life has been careening on the rocks- until his cousin, Damien Carson, forces him to look for help on a helpline- a particular helpline call the 'Breakup Helpline' and there he meets sarcastic, cynical realist Serena Adams, who doesn't believe in love at all. And maybe, just maybe, Theo can change her mind. this is a tale about the hopeless romantic and the skeptical non-believer, the idealistic sentimentalist and the bitter soul, and how fate brings them together.

“Well hey there, at least buy me dinner first.” I could feel Aaron's eyes burning through the back of my head as he stared down at me. Down. Towards his crotch. I was face to crotch with Aaron Cross. --- Life is full of Awkward moments; unfortunately for Blake Miller, her life is just one big Awkward moment. From being named Blake because her parents were expecting a boy, to walking in on her dad "wrestling" with her mother's sister. But when Blake's house gets damaged from a hazardous flood and they tear her house down brick by brick when they find a severe mold infestation, her life is about to pass the level of Awkward when they move in with her mom's current boyfriend and his insufferable son who just so happens to be her school's notorious star player -- and not just in sports. Blake's situation probably wouldn't be so bad if there wasn't a history between the two, and she will soon realize that not only will her past reveal itself, but so will the secrets kept hidden around her. [DISCLAIMER: i am aware that wattpad changed the rating to rated R, but that's only because of the excessive amount of swearing from the characters. other than that, this book contains mostly PG-13 material.] [humor #13 - 04/11/15]