You have ten days before you die. The infamous "Jeff the Killer" shows up one night to kill you, but creates a deal with you instead. If you survive ten days, you live. If you don't, well, you obviously die. Fun, right? The only problem is that you laugh every time you see him. His face is just so funny! How will you control yourself? What if he starts to love you? Ha! He's a nasty, blood-sucking, gay-as-hell jerk-face. There's no way you'd fall for that. He was the one that broke into your house, so he was gonna play by your rules. Every time he insults your slutty friend- slap in the face! Every time he calls you stupid and a whale- slap in the face! Will you survive all ten days with this inconsiderate asshole? -+- This is a JTK x Reader from second person point of view. It's a parody of my other fanfiction, "Killer Romance" This is the funny version, and the other one is the serious version. I don't own most of the characters. (Jeff The Killer x Reader PARODY) WARNING: Contains lots of sarcasm and swearing. IF YOU DON'T LIKE RACIST JOKES AND/OR GET OFFENDED BY HUMOR, DON'T READ THIS. Good luck to those of you who persevere onward. I'm sorry if your family looks at you crazy for laughing like a maniac at your phone or crying because of how pathetic and stupid this book is. Most of the plot is exactly how it is in the original book, so DON'T GET MAD IF IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Co-me-dy. It's not meant to make sense. -+- I do not give doc truyen or any individual, website, organization, server, etc. the right to reproduce, post, publish, steal, etc. my stories and ideas.

Everything seemed perfect at first, but what happens when the person you once loved turns into a cold-blooded killer . . . Marika would know. He will play with you, he'll mess you up, he will stop at nothing from making you more miserable than you already are. All your effort will be useless as you get dragged back to the past which you desperately tried to escape. Your happiness, aspirations and your very life will shatter into a million pieces until you feel nothing but pain and torture. . . . Or will you strive to change your fate? 【 I own the book cover.】

Katrina Johnson never really fit in anywhere, her bullies, lack of family, and lack of decent friends pushed her to grow less patient... And C A R E L E S S. Kat was orphaned in while she was in middle school, no one to console or C O N T R O L her. She was an outcast and no one understood her. One day she gets left behind from the bus and she takes a shortcut through a wooded park. U N F O R T U N A T E L Y, she stumbles upon a boy with a white blood covered jackect with long black hair. She thinks hes just another creep untill she experiences how much in common they have with each other. Or is it something more? Something more... T o x I c...

*FIRST BOOK IN THE Dear My Sanity SERIES* "Look at your hands. Their blood is on your hands." Jamie stares at her blood covered hands. She clenches her jaw, a muffled scream coming from her. I let her scream but I look around, knowing the police would come soon. If she wants to avoid being caught, she needs to get over her little crisis already. "Get up," I say quickly, going over and grabbing onto her arm to pull her up. "Come on, the police will be coming soon. You're not going to jail." She struggles against me, screaming, "No! You're going to kill me if I go with you." "This all can be erased," I insisted. The wailing of sirens tells me I need to convince her quickly. Jamie pauses, thinking hard. "Fine," she says. "Let's go then." I say no more as I run. She picks up my pace and follows me as I lead her away from her first murders and into her new life. I think it's one she'll fit well into.

"A kiss is the beginning of cannibalism." - Georges Bataille. Jack has a, special, type of appetite; he devours kidneys. His twisted diet demands for victims, scalpels, and malevolent intuition. Stalking his prey for days on end, patience and precision is a virtue for ripping the unwilling donors apart, just before he stomachs their precious organs. On a warm, lonely night, the masked human eater is enchanted by the scent a stranger's insides give off, the odor captivating his taste buds into a savage frenzy. Finding flaws in simply ending her, Jack is intrigued when the stranger proposes an alluring proposition that demands his undivided attention. What Jack soon comes to realize is that like his appetite, there is something sick about her, and her very special kidneys...

[Sequel to What Lovely Kidneys You Have] Love is a special sort of tragedy. It breathes into your unexpecting lungs, a violent poison disguised as sweet perfume. Eyes twinkle with the brightest of soft, purple stars, a great constellation of beauty and magic. This mask of love shields you from the rest of the wreched world just long enough to gain your trust, and then it slowly slinks itself away & abandons you in a desolate waste land of misery and longing. Eyeless Jack came upon a soul - one that he's never had the likes of knowing before. She slips her way into his admiration, her lovely kidneys a magnet, but her lovely essence a lure that's hooked onto him. After making the fatal mistake of infecting her with his own brand of evil, he leaves her abandoned with a pair of cuffs slung harshly around her wrists in fear of falling madly in love. She doesn't stay gone though as the strict bond formed between them refuses to stretch any longer. And yes, there will blood. How lovely.

[Sequel to Psychotic] After crashing with the past, Jeff had almost lost sight of his purpose and was inches away from appealing back to his former human conditions. But with no choice but to reject the soul that had deceived and betrayed him, Jeff freed himself from partaking on the path that lead back into her arms. Unfortunately, the past is never finished with torturing you. And when it comes back, it comes with a vengeance. Increasing pressure and monumental revelations only make things worse. Now Jeff is faced with the ultimate challenge between loving her, or ripping her head off without taking everyone, including himself, down with her.

Teagan is about to turn 18, and her parents have to leave their home in Texas to go California for 3 weeks when her uncle dies suddenly. Teagan is more than thrilled, as any teenager would be to be left alone so long. But with the weather being so bad, and her unknowingly being followed by someone, could this month really be as fun as she planned? Coming home from the park one night, she finds someone sleeping in her bed. She manages to knock him out and chain him up in her living room. How long before he manages to get out, and how long until she gives in to her growing desire to know him? She's not scared of him, yet he gives her every reason to be.

*Editing* - PART 1 OF 3 (Heart Shaped Blood Stains) - Kate Chambers was a sixteen year old sophomore, already moved out and on her own with her best friend Kyle, and living a completely normal life... That is until she finds a strange picture in Kyle's bedroom, of a man with a white face, a carved, fleshy smile, and silvery white eyes. From there, her IP address and curiosity unleashed her fate with a man named Jeff Woods, also known as, Jeff the Killer. He kidnaps her, keeps her for himself, and ushers her into a world of killing and insanity. As much as she wants to forget, to fight the feeling, and to return home, her past is destroyed, and she cannot fight the insane killer she has become. The reason why being: she falls in love, with Jeff the Killer. [the story's so much better than the description... please read!]

He's psychotic, mad in the head, and shivers at the sweet taste of flesh. All Jeff desired was the perfect kill. A victim to fight back, give him a challenge, and amuse his sick cravings. He found who he was looking for, but was she too feisty, even for his taste? Too accustomed to his being there? When Jeff realizes this, he doesn't know whether to end her or not. The option is tempting, but there's something deeper to this story. Something that prohibits his inner murderer from stabbing her lifeless. He begins to feel something sick, even sicker than all the blood shed and fear he's caused, the longer he's met with those green, nostalgic eyes. He begins to remember.