The Marauders are starting their fifth year at Hogwarts; Remus is starting with a massive scar across his face - a byproduct of the increasing severity of his furry little problem, which is a definite cause for concern despite his insistence that it it's fine. Sirius is starting with the memories of a certain morning at 12 Grimmauld Place in August: memories that he might not ever forget, yet is desperate to cloak underneath the facade that every is fine at home and that he and his parents just sometimes encounter minor disagreements. James is starting his fifth year, yes, but more importantly, he is starting phase five of his plan to woo Lily Evans: somehow his friends seem doubtful that he might succeed, but James, being James, is in no lack of confidence. And Peter, well, Peter is starting to wonder just why he puts up with these people, and if he should really be feeling sorry for Lily Evans, and maybe if he should have asked to have been sorted into Hufflepuff.

Summary: Dan draws, Phil doesn't. Phil wears black shirts, speaks loudly, and glares at everyone. Dan wears grey jumpers, doesn't talk, and tries to stay invisible. Phil's reckless, Dan's not. This is as story about two polar opposites who mange to have a string of first times together, and maybe even a cute love story. Because unexpected things always happen, when you try to keep someone at arms length. Rating/Warnings: Mature Readers (READ AT OWN RISK). This story may contain topics of depression, cutting, anxiety, panic attacks, assault, gay slurs, and minor sexual content. If any of the listed content triggers you, please do not read. Please do not copy and post my story anywhere else or create an "adaptation" of my work. Thank you. Copyright © 2013. strawb3rryvib3s All Rights Reserved.

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!