"they told us that we needed therapy, as if medication and tainted words could fix broken toys."

❝i've delicately chosen letters to form words and words to form sentences, each sentence a colorful paint stroke on the canvas of my mind.❞ [ #1 in poetry on 27/08/16 ]

what a strange feeling

Amanda Rose is too young for her best friend to be dead. She went to bed to one world and woke up to an entirely different one the next morning when her best friend, Roxanne, committed suicide, leaving Amanda behind with only one missed phone call, a message she can't bring herself to listen to. And then comes in Orion Mathers, Roxanne's ex-boyfriend and the reason why everyone in Madison high school turned on Roxanne. Amanda blames him for what happened since to her nothing was wrong until he revealed her unusual eating disorder. But then, to honor her best friend, a former model, Amanda decides to take part in modeling competitions in her place in hopes that if she won, things would start to make sense again. But she soon finds out, the deeper she gets into the model world, the harder it is to come out. She sheds being Amanda, the boring, shy friend of the dead girl and becomes Mandy, the more outspoken, beautiful girl. Mandy is distant toward her family, develops an eating disorder of her own, and just wants to win. Her family, her wild child sister, and even Orion urge her to stop but she can't now. Maybe not ever. 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭. (𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐀 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨

when you have too many thorns, all you can do is paint them in red, because, maybe then, they will look like petals [sequel to shades of blue]

Quinn scribbles tainted emotions across thin layers of white paper. But to who? To someone who blinks once, sees her, and blinks again-just to make her disappear. To someone who sees her as a symbol of the ocean. To someone who thinks the ocean is disgusting and hideous, filled with trash and pathetic wandering fishes. To someone who believes that Quinn needs to be a size zero to be labeled as 'beautiful.' If she isn't, why in the world will anyone care to love her? She's disgusting. Worthless. An enormous sailboat that makes the world sink. But how long will it take until she sinks herself?

It's too quiet. The loudest thing is your heart beating. You can feel your pulse throughout your whole body and it's overwhelming. You're breathing too loud in a place where life does not exist. The silence is invading into your mind, filling it with more deafening thoughts and endless holes. And so you run. You run away from everything. Because you aren't sure how to deal with yourself and the chaos that wraps around you. You're terrified of the chaos that embraces you because it's too quiet. It's all in your mind. No one can hear you scream. The silent chaos are the most dangerous ones. ••• [ a collection of poems ]

"this is your kind of story. no one is the good guy-- no one is the bad guy-- the blame shifts from monster to monster and in this place everyone bares their teeth." [featured. highest ranking: #6 in poetry.]

a collection of thoughts that always abruptly en

Charlie doesn't speak, so he paints.