This is a compilation of satirical 5H/Camren skits, parodies/lyrics, drabbles I write on a whim. (I moved all my longer one-shots to another fic called Strangeness and Charm) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please don't convert, translate, or put my content elsewhere.

Trigger warning. In a parallel universe where people receive their binding-tattoo at the age of 17. Lauren Jauregui doesn't even get that far. Their tattoo fades the day she dies. -- Soulmate AU. Coming soon.

You have your moral and your principles above all, you follow the law, you pay every tax. And by divine intervention or not, someone crosses your path and makes you rethink all of that, someone who makes your world turn upside down, someone who turns you inside out and makes you realize that inside out is the right way. This is how I've felt ever since Lauren Jauregui crossed my path. - Camila Cabello

a collection of camren one shots. cover by slothtato

❝Touch her again, and we'll fucking kill you.❞ She was Lauren Jauregui. By day, she was an international rockstar with a bad attitude and a penchant for partying. By night, she was consigliere to the largest Mafia family in Miami. Her life revolved around turf wars, blood feuds, fine whiskey and all that jazz. To her, kidnappings and murders were the means to her ends, forever sitting on a grey-scale the common man cannot comprehend. Some call her a legend, others a nightmare. They say she is the most powerful woman in America. She begs to differ. A puppet only as powerful as its master allows it to be. And her puppet master was none other than Camila Cabello, America's sweetheart: the woman who had owned her heart since they were teenagers. Cover belongs to SLOTHTATO.

Sure, they shared the same womb, but they couldn't have turned out any more different than they have. Lauren Jauregui has always been the dark, brooding one, whereas her sister has always been one for the light and attention. She doesn't mind, really, she's used to it. But there's one exception, just one. And for once, she wishes to be seen. Cover Art by SLOTHTATO

"You're like a puzzle, I have all the pieces it's just a matter of putting them all together." "And have you finished the puzzle yet?" "No, as I put the pieces together, they display things I've never seen before; new things. But those things are only fragments of the big picture. If I've finished the puzzle, it means our story's done." "I hope you never finish it," "I don't think I ever will." She answered, honestly. COVER BY: SLOTHTATO

"Picture yourself in a nightmarish scene of such grotesque complexity that you'd kill to be dreaming. That's where you'll find me." cover by @slothtato (the real mvp)

Hinder: an app that allows people experiencing a bad date to reach out to people in the neighbourhood to come and rescue them.