in a world where your moods are visible above your head, displayed through pictures and icons, it's impossible to hide your true feelings. however dan howell seems to be lacking this. labelled as an emotionless freak, dan is outcasted because his moods are never visible. that is, until an endlessly happy boy named phil wonders why.

{{ part two of psychedelia }} It's been two years since Dan moved out of the apartment to go to a rehabilitation centre, and in that space of time he's heard nothing from Phil. Not even a "hello." Dan's scared that Phil's moved on and forgotten about him, and since they both stopped vlogging Dan doesn't know what's happening in Phil's life. Is he still living in London? Has he moved back to Manchester? Is he even alive? So now that Dan is finally off his medication and he's completely clean, he should be happy again, right? Sometimes, the most painful thing is when the person who you share all of your best memories with becomes a slowly fading memory, and you can't do anything except watch and scream as the past disappears, almost like it never existed in the first place. And it fucking hurts. WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, MENTIONS OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

Summary: Dan draws, Phil doesn't. Phil wears black shirts, speaks loudly, and glares at everyone. Dan wears grey jumpers, doesn't talk, and tries to stay invisible. Phil's reckless, Dan's not. This is as story about two polar opposites who mange to have a string of first times together, and maybe even a cute love story. Because unexpected things always happen, when you try to keep someone at arms length. Rating/Warnings: Mature Readers (READ AT OWN RISK). This story may contain topics of depression, cutting, anxiety, panic attacks, assault, gay slurs, and minor sexual content. If any of the listed content triggers you, please do not read. Please do not copy and post my story anywhere else or create an "adaptation" of my work. Thank you. Copyright © 2013. strawb3rryvib3s All Rights Reserved.

Phil Lester is sweet and cute; known for his kindness and enthusiasm. Dan Howell is a tough, cold outsider; known as the school's stereotypical 'bad boy'. But if he's so bad, then why on earth did he rescue Phil Lester and give him a smile which would melt anyone's heart?

Dan Howell is a timid boy, who always does as he is told. He was once friends with Phil Lester, the 'bad influence' who soon ditches Dan for the popular group in Year 7. After five years of not talking to each other, they're partnered in a project and Phil's wants to win Dan over just like he has with most of their year. But yet, Dan is determined to find out what Phil is hiding behind his arrogant mask.

i was sinking, and i couldn't swim. {phan au} highest ranking - #10 in danandphil

you're the color of everything that's ever meant anything

the air smells like the promise of tomorrow and nothing has ever smelled more terrifying