I have never read or watched Twilight, but for some reason, this thing here is how I got out of my writer's block. Not trying to improve the story, just rewriting it my way inspired by all the top-tier memes and analysis videos I keep seeing on social media. Special thanks to wikipedia for telling me who everyone is and that one tiktokker who's writing a book about the Twilight phenomenon. (EDIT: Sarah Elizabeth Gallagher) *Contains strong language, and probably violence later? IDK there's supposed to be vampires in it right

One thousand years into the future. The rest of the world has been reduced to ashes from an asteroid collision and North America, now known as Laurasia, is the only surviving country. Laurasia is split into two parts: Upper Laurasia and Lower Laurasia. The upper side is known for its riches and landscape and the lower side is known for its vast forests and hidden villages. Cue Callum Ward. Raised by his uncle for his entire life, he doesn't know who his parents were and doesn't want to know, either. When he turns sixteen, he has to compete in the Choosing Trials- a series of challenges to determine whether you should become a Warrior, Conveyor, or a Blackspy. But of course, not everything goes to plan. ORIGINAL WILL UPDATE REGULARLY

Nick gets a new Apartment. Rent is cheap, but there's a catch. Make cerfew or deal with.... the Midnight octopus.

Janet Nader comes from an unusual family. She and her family do all kinds of things that no other family does. Her friend, Zachary Randolph, doesn't quite why she behaves so oddly. Creeped out by all this, he is thinking about not wanting to be friends with Janet anymore.

My name is Marl. I have the weary mind of a retired philosopher trapped in the life of a 17-year-old intern. This is my strategic log-a formal record of my war against the profound absurdity of family, forced labor they call 'work experience,' and the general conspiracy of everyone else to operate on a frequency I can't seem to access. They think I'm a misanthropic nerd. I prefer to think of myself as the only sane person documenting the madness. Welcome to the evidence.

A collection of brief, sarcastic dispatches from the front lines of modern absurdity. They began as tales of small, ridiculous wars fought with grim determination. Over time, the battles changed shape. The uniforms turned into business suits and ball gowns, the enemies became bureaucrats and egos, and the victories increasingly hollow. From Tempest in the West Wing to Spam Warfare, each report captures a skirmish in humanity's ongoing campaign against reality itself-short, darkly funny, and disturbingly plausible. Read them one at a time. Laugh if you can. Then check your perimeter.

(A dark horror-romance retelling of the Hades and Persephone myth) Jade Salvador isn't your typical dissatisfied, burnt-out twenty-something-year-old. Crushed by the weight of her family's name and high expectations, she finds herself working a dead-end job, hoping for something more out of life. One day, she makes the drastic decision to start catfishing would-be predators online, posing as a teenager and exposing their crimes. But when Jade meets Percy Belrose, a man who's also searching for the same purpose in his life, things get messy fast. As sparks begin to fly and bodies begin to pile up, Jade soon finds out that killing is the easy part. It's falling in love that might be the death of her.

Welcome to ToonTech Unlimited™, where job scopes shift daily, HR is a chatbot named Pluto, and interns secretly train AI to survive the madness. Taffy just wanted a quiet internship. Instead, she got chaos, a possibly sentient coffee machine, and an AI that's rewriting her life - and her novel. Corporate life? More like Ctrl + Z your expectations.

WARNING: This story contains violence, shameless pop culture references, meta humor, space cowboys, lasers, conspiracy theories, lolies, romance, brainwashing, spaceship fights, uppercutting a robot in the jaw, outgunning an AI overlord, and /// The rest of this blurb has been cut by the Illuminati on infringement of classified secret data. Ignore this message and kindly submit yourself to the nearest brainwashing plant for a memory purge. Thank you, and have a complacent day.

This is a collection of humorous, semi autobiographical stories, describing misadventures at School, University and early working life. It's a litany of all the silly things that can happen to you when you feel completely out of your depth...