They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Puck You is now available in paperback and e-book! Grace wants to prove herself by making the men's hockey team at her new school. Will a rivalry with the captain - or an attraction between them - get in the way? ***** When Grace Gillman moves to California, she's determined to play hockey -- even if that means making a place for herself on her new school's only team. But Sebastian Evans doesn't want a girl on the men's team, even if she's a great player. He's convinced she'll distract the other boys and cost them their shot at the championship - and with it, his only chance at a scholarship to his dream college. But despite his icy attitude towards her, he can't help but feel a connection building between them - which quickly gets complicated when he learns she has eyes for someone else. Will they remain rivals on the rink, or will things heat up between them? [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]

*NOT A FAN FIC* "Dice, honey, come here! Dad and I are going to see the midnight premiere of 'Catching Feelings', and we'll be back around 2:30 AM. Just go to bed, you're a big girl, you can stay alone for a little over two hours, right? We love you, Dice. Don't open the door for anyone, and don't let anyone in. Bye honey." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After 3 years in foster care and getting kicked out at 13, 17 year old Andrea (Dice) Grayson has become the big girl her mother always wanted her to be. She's balancing two jobs; one at the local Hollister, one at Ollie's, the classic 80's diner on 22nd street, and she's barely scraping by. Until one day at the diner, a rich guy in an Armani suit named Robert Adams shows up and follows her after work, asking her to nanny his children. The arrogant 17 year old Aaron, the moody 13 year old Ricky, and the cute, redheaded, sassy 7 year old Kailyn form the ultimate trio. Also known as Robert's three children. The same children Andrea will be nannying. Can Andrea survive "taking care" of the crazy three? High Ranks: Teen Fiction #861 // Humor 530

"'Caution. Hotness at work. May spontaneously combust.' I read Ross' neon shirt with something akin to disgust, brushing back my hair and shooting him a glare. 'Really? Really, Ross? I hope you realize that no one's going to find you attractive when you're picking up trash from the ground with a stick.'" When Ross Alderman literally blows up Jenn's AP Chemistry class, the two of them find themselves stuck with thirty hours of community service. Now if only Jenn can last that long picking up trash with him without combusting from anger, no chemistry humor intended. (current cover by @Razeeta)

Kennedy (Kenna) isn't known for her beauty. She's never been complimented on her appearance unless being called beautiful by your family counts, and to Kenna- it doesn't. Sick of being ignored because of her looks, Kennedy gives herself a makeover but it isn't very successful. After encountering a crying Marissa Rivers on the behalf of her obnoxious brother, Noah, she becomes acquaintances with the girl. After a chat about Kenna's failed efforts at makeup and how she's a nondrinker, she offers Kenna the help of her and her friends. Kenna graciously agrees but there's a catch. Kenna will have to be the girls' designated driver to the next few parties that they want to attend until she can do her own makeup which may take a while but what happens when Kenna accidentally gets drunk at one of the parties and Noah has to bring her and the other girls back to their home? She gets involved in a lot more than she planned. And it seems as if all she wanted was to become beautiful.

"You know what stood out to me when I first met you?" He asked me. I shook my head. "Most people who walk in here, I can guess where they'll go. Which genre, I mean. But you, you surprised me." "Why?" I asked. "Because you." He said. "You walked in here with a Fall Out Boy shirt on, and went straight for the classical section."

Seventeen-year-old April Parker wakes up in an underground facility, a shock bracelet on her wrist and a five-day countdown on the clock. Dozens of other teens share her inexplicable fate, but their unseen captors never intervene no matter how brutal conditions become. When the ruthless - and unnervingly magnetic - Marcus seizes control, April's trauma-forged instinct is to lay low. But protecting her friends drives her to bargain with the boy she should fear most - a boy whose reality fractures with every tick. Then the countdown ends, and the real terror begins. Powers ignite. Alliances shatter. And predators are born. And with a saboteur among them determined to keep the doors closed forever, escaping what comes next may be the only way to survive it.

"This summer will be our legacy. This will be what you will be remembered by. This will be the story you tell your grandchildren about when you were in high school. We're going to travel to places we never thought existed. We're going to do things we never even thought were possible. Things that we never dreamed about doing, this is the summer." Crestview High is an average high school in an average city with people who live average lives. Except for one thing, of course: Their senior tradition of riding a bus around the country for the whole summer after graduation. Not just a normal bus, an old school bus that the Belton family bought years ago and ever since their first son graduated, they've carried on the tradition. Now, the youngest and only girl of the family is graduating Crestview, which means that Alaina Belton is determined to live up to the Belton name and make this summer memorable for all twelve people on the bus this year. Of course, with twelve celebratory teenagers under one tiny roof for two months, there is bound to be love, drama, regrets, and a few memories to be made.

Dakota Peters is a simple girl. She is okay with surviving high school with her friends, her brother, and her pathetic crush on Caleb Fisher. She has been pining over Caleb since freshman year, but is totally okay with just admiring from afar because she knows that she's too awkward and weird to actually have a boyfriend. Dakota's life is pretty simple this way, pathetically stalking an improbable crush and that's how she's happy living her life until, of course, things get complicated. There's a new boy in town just as another one of her brother's friends confesses feelings for her just as Caleb begins to take notice to her. With all three things happening at once, it's overwhelming for Dakota because she isn't used to boys actually liking her back. She was content with stalking from afar with no real love interest, but now she has three and that's not okay with her. Not to mention her secret manhunt to find her mother, who abandoned her family when she and her brother were four. How can she get through the last half of senior year with all of this abnormal drama going on around her?