the story behind 'dear phil' (you can find 'dear phil//phan on @jetblackhowell)

Dear Phil, It's three am. I can't sleep. So, I'm writing to you.

just when the catipillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly × sequel to 'transgender' {HIGHEST RANKING #3}

Dan Howell is an insomniac....who's scared of the dark. Only a little bit. One late night (or early morning), he decides to venture out and explore London at its quietest. He meets Phil Lester at an all-night coffee shop, and the two quickly become friends. As the friendship continues to grow, Dan has to begin facing his issues, and his feelings for Phil.

"because as you know all too well, my dear phil, i sometimes want you to just drop dead." "ah, but you see, the feeling is mutual, howell." |serialkiller!phil x depressed!dan| |lowercase intended|

[completed] philgon: she can fuck you good, but i can fuck you better ; copyright © 2016

"well, what can i say sweater boy, you and i mix as well as those damn paints on my brushes and the colors in those sunsets you love so much."

Dan is different. He's learned to accept that. Well, as best he can anyway, considering he's never really had much of a choice. It's been this way for as long as he can remember, the constant runaround process of trying to feel normal. His life is built around it, trying to trick both himself and everyone he interacts with into seeing him as your average person. The isolation as he desperately tries to keep others from finding out, the bitterness that wells up inside of him each and every time he's reminded that he'll never be like everyone else, the fear that nothing will ever change. He's fated to be this way forever; a misfit from society. Isolation can only go so far though, so when he's struggling to make ends meet and he's faced with the option of looking into a serious job or taking on a roommate, he opts for what seems like the easier option at the time. It doesn't seem so easy ten failed roommates into the process, or when he sits down at a table to meet with prospect number eleven and ends up with a coffee spilled all over his lap. Potential roommate number eleven, Phil, turns out to be an insufferable optimistic ball of sunshine that Dan wants nothing to do with. His options are running out though, as are the savings he's been using to pay his rent, so he finds himself begrudgingly agreeing to let the other man move in. Neither of them have any way of knowing just what they've gotten themselves into as they shake on the matter, but time will tell.

my name is dan, not danielle × somewhat based off of the short film boy (HIGHEST RANKING: #2 in fanfiction)

Phil doesn't talks. Well, not anymore. The last time he said something, was when he didn't hate himself. And that was a long time ago. But now, everything is different. He must struggle with depression, whilst new boy Dan Howell desperately attempts to win him over. [Warning: this could be triggering at some points]