Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

Christian Ryder may be seen as a heartthrob by the majority of the world's female population, but to Sophia Hastings, he might as well be the newest addition to her hometown's local zoo. Sophia is a young, aspiring actress with big dreams who swears having to work with Christian Ryder wouldn't be worth all the fame in the world. Christian is a cocky womanizer whose world is turned upside down when he realizes his new leading lady just so happens to openly hate his guts. Is it even possible for Christian and Sophia to learn to get along long enough to make a movie, or will hatred, scandal and childish games destroy their careers? *** My eyes widened and I randomly exclaimed, "Oh, my God!" "What?" "Christian, thanks to you, I now understand what people mean when they say you're dark and handsome!" Christian looked smug. "I knew you would eventually." "They mean that when it's dark, you're handsome!" The smug look on his face disappeared. "I hate you." *** Contains some spoilers to Kidnap My Heart.

Ivy is a poor, misunderstood girl who isn't afraid to stick up for herself. The Lost Boys are four wealthy boys that are used to getting whatever they want. Mix them together, and the results could be disastrous. Neverland Academy is an intimidating private school for wealthy teens only. This is the last place Ivy wants to go to school, but it's either a snooty school with snobby kids or a military school with a bunch of troublemakers. Ivy is lucky enough to go to the school on a scholarship, but that doesn't mean that she or the other students are happy about it. With her almost fearless outer persona, her true fragile personality hidden, she catches The Lost Boys' attentions right away, and she isn't sure if that's a good thing. She's about to find out how tough she really isn't.

Did you know that the reason that Maleficent curses Sleeping Beauty is for love? Or that the genie from Aladdin was a mass murderer? Or that the Big Bad Wolf wasn't so big or bad? There are some interesting things you never knew or even thought to ask about your favorite(or least favorite) characters. Well, since you didn't think of it, it's a good thing I did. And here's the answer to all your fairy tale needs (Or at least some of them. Hopefully at least a few. Maybe not any. But you should read it anyway, because who knows? You might have a question that you never realized you had.) A volume containing the true events of the following fairy tales- Sleeping Beauty, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and the Princess and the Pea. These are chronicles of the true events that happened before the stories were created. Before a once upon time. Note- My NaNoWriMo for 2012. Story is completed and fully edited! I'm so happy. *Tear*

Sam is the most promising swordsman among this year’s crop of Paladin trainees...and knows it. Brash, cocky, and unbeatable with a sword (well, almost), Sam is the kingdom of Thule’s best hope against the violence wrought by demons. The only problem is that Sam is really Lady Samantha, daughter of the seventeenth Duke of Haywood, and if her father has his way, she’ll be marrying a Paladin, not becoming one. But Sam has never held much interest in playing damsel-in-distress, and so she rescues herself from a lifetime of boredom and matrimonial drudgery. Pity that Tristan Lyons, the Paladin assigned to train her, is none other than the hero of her childhood. He hasn’t recognized her as Lady Samantha--yet-- but if he does, he’ll take away her sword and send her packing. Sam is not the only trainee hiding secrets: Braeden is a half-demon with a dark past that might be unforgivable. Sam, Braeden and Tristan set out for the western coast, charged with rooting out an infestation of demons that has made the West unlivable. As they travel, they uncover a deep-seated corruption of power that threatens to derail everything they stand for. Rebellion stirs, led by a rival faction of warriors who tempt Sam to join them with an irresistible offer. A war between men is coming, and Sam must pick a side. Will saving the kingdom cost her life -- or just her heart? Reminiscent of Mulan, but with a medieval fantasy twist, Paladin is a tale of adventure, action, and romance.

Reese has always dreamed of being a YouTube star, but all she's done is make rant videos that she never posts. So when her younger sister finds them and puts them online as a prank, Reese thinks her life is over. But surprisingly, people think they're hilarious. On a confidence high, she decides to make these video diaries every week (with the help of a hot neighbor). Soon "I Am Reese" is the biggest thing in the country. But when so many people love you, there's gonna be a few that do just the opposite.

Rainie Harper was like every other wolf who dreamed of finding her mate. A mate who loved her and made her smile with every word he spoke. A mate who would always be there with a hand to brush her tears away and open arms that felt like home. Rainie did not expect to discover that her mate was none other than Mason Vermont. The school's very own jerk. Everyone knew what he was like. He was not only a player, but a heartbreaker. Mason doesn't want a mate and he certainly doesn't want Rainie. So he does the only thing he knows he can - he rejects her.

Destiny Raven. That's me. I lived in America. My Mother is psychotic; crazy. My father left me; moved countries. My twin; well, she's dead. When I get expelled from school, I go to visit my father in Australia. What he doesn’t know is that I don't plan on going back. The strange thing is, as soon as I get to Australia bad things start happening. I start blacking out. My emotions get out of whack. More and more questions get asked. I make up lies, both to myself and others on top of the lies that are already there. My disturbing past is brought to the present with the appearance of wolves larger than they should be. With the suspicion that my father's new life might not be what it seems, I get curious. Everyone knows curiosity killed the cat, but I'm not a cat, so it shouldn't kill me. I think. Destiny Raven. That's me, and this is my story.

Self-proclaimed weirdo April Hale and the notorious troublemaker Ryder Black have been living side by side for more than ten years. Both never attempted to communicate with each other, but on the night Ryder Black is thrown out by his own father, he asks her a question that might change both of their lives: "March, will you let me stay in your room?" He even got her name wrong. - A coming of age story about loss, the wonders of falling in love, and ultimately, pretending to be normal. Get inside April's distorted and yet humorous perspective, and watch as her tale unfolds into a shocking finish. COVER BY @RIVIIX

Nightingale is human - or would be, had it not been for the manner of her creation. Genetically engineered and grown to adulthood in a lab, she was created, not born. Why? For the sole purpose of the entertainment of rich men as one of the many Inamoratas in the bordello business . Beautiful, elegant, a superb dancer and an even better singer, she is the perfect lover for any man. Perfect, that is, except for her personality - the one thing you can't engineer.