"You're an asshole," I blurted. "You're such an asshole that your actual asshole is jealous." Silence. What the hell did I just say? Out of all the insults, I choose one that makes the least sense? Damn it, why couldn't I just have been born normal... Wait, never mind. Psh, screw sanity. "Can we keep her?" Tyler suddenly says, bouncing on his tippy toes. "Please, Keith? Can we keep her? Huh, huh, huh?" What am I, a pet? "Keith" whipped his head towards Tyler so fast I could've sworn I heard a crack. "Keep her?" he echoed. "No, Tyler, we can not keep her." Thank you. "She's utterly useless to us, and you want to keep her?" I gasped, placing a hand over my chest. Useless? Damn, these people are rude as hell. "But," Tyler whined, walking over to me. I tensed all over when he squished my cheeks together. "Look at how adorable she is. She's just so innocent... you'd never suspect anything bad from her." Keith expression changed, to one I knew very well from my experiences with Val. Lightbulb. "Tyler, you are a genius," Keith says. Tyler's hands stop squishing my cheeks. "I am?" "He is?!" everyone else says. Keith doesn't reply, just keeps on grinning wickedly. And suddenly I have a feeling that I am not gonna make it out of here alive. - WARNING: VERY CRINGE WORTHY MATERIAL NOW AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE http://www.lulu.com/shop/angel-zenith/the-gangleader-kidnapped-me/paperback/product-23087208.html Highest Rank: #1 in Humor April 19, 2015 CoAuthor: DreamCreature

Arielle Tesfaye's senior year immediately turns upside down the second she finds out about her switch to another swim team. Although the problem with this one particular swim team was not what she was expecting. What if this team was home to the 10 most popular, sexiest, charismatic, most talked about boys of Amphitrite High School?

He needs a wife. She needs the money. The playboy prince needs a respectable girl to play his doting fiance for the weekend. If he doesn't convince his parents he's a changed man, he can say goodbye to his crown and inheritance. Enter Jenny, an actress who has just been hired to play the role of her life. Especially since she doesn't like him. But soon the two find out that they will need each other in ways they never thought possible.

When 17 year old Harley finds herself jobless, she needs a new job-- and quick. Her uncle comes to her house with a job offer. For her to become a teacher at his school. A school for delinquents. Watty Awards 2010 Winner of Best Overall, Best Romance, Best Female Lead, and Best Cast!

#DarmetirSeries BOOK II (Can be read separately) *** "Smartass." I comment. "Uptight bitch." He snaps. "Get a new one, asshole. It's getting old." I sneer back. "How about-" "Stop! The both of you. Jesus, people will never think that you're dating, if you keep that up." I roll my eyes at Heidi. Maybe I shouldn't have accepted the deal. It's a lot harder than expected. Anyways, my name is Gabriella Duncan and this is my life right now. It's not that bad, I know. If there wasn't this specific football player, who, for the public eye, is my boyfriend. And well, as you may noticed, we're not too fond of each other. Ugh, just bear with me for a while...

[IN BOOKSTORES AND KINDLE UNLIMITED NOW!] What if you were matched with the original love god? --- When Lila goes to the Cupids Matchmaking Service it is to tell them to stop spamming her. Instead she finds out that cupids are real, she has been matched with a dangerous love god, and that he is coming to find her. Soon arrows fly, myths are awoken, and Lila finds herself part of a deadly supernatural war that could cost her her life, and her heart. Perfect for fans of Percy Jackson and the Vampire Diaries. --- THE PUBLISHED VERSION OF CUPID'S MATCH IS OUT NOW! READ IN KINDLE UNLIMITED! Get your copy of Cupid's Match at bit.ly/CupidsMatch or follow the link in my profile!

Jessica Bryans is perfectly happy with her life. She's working in the world’s most famous fashion company and she hasn’t got a worry in the world. That is until someone, that she never wanted to see again, shows up in her life—her ex best friend Jacob Marshall, hint: EX best friend. He’s all too willing to reconcile, and she’s all too willing wanting him OUT of his life. Or does she?

Josephine McMaster is pretty and smart, but very much a klutzy mess. Finally, at 26, she may have actually lost the dreaded 'McMaster the Disaster' nickname that has followed her around her whole life. Josie's quite content to be single, much to her mother's disappointment. So when a bizarre contest is announced where a socialite is holding a lottery to pick her bridesmaids (and rake in a little extra cash), she can't roll her eyes fast enough, even if it does mean meeting Jake Hall, her one and only movie star crush. Obviously, Josie doesn't enter the bridesmaid lottery, so you can imagine her surprise when her picture pops up among the winners, thanks to Mom. With a little prodding -- okay bribing -- Josie agrees to participate. The wedding turns into the event of the year, and Josie finds herself in the middle of a paparazzi feeding frenzy, which gets even crazier after Jake Hall takes a special interest in her. Can Josie handle the pressure in the spotlight? Is it possible she might really have a chance with Jake Hall? And if she's busy worrying about all that, how in the heck is she going to keep 'McMaster the Disaster' from showing up in front of the entire world?

Taylor Harrison has had an abusive upbringing with her father after her mother died in a car crash when she was 5. With her in the car when her mother died she has always remembered everything about that day. A year after her mother died her father moved her to Australia but then her father is taken away and she is forced to move in with the Jamisons, who lived across the road from her old place. The Jamisons are great, except they consist of 7 very hot brothers. Being in a house hold full of boys isn't what it's cracked up to be. With jelousy, hatred and love floating around them all, how will Taylor deal with her past, present and future?

Mushrooms: They're soft, silky, white and super evil. Walmart: It's a place you go grocery shopping. You don't necessarily like it, but it gets the job done. Enter me: An outgoing, bubbly girl with flowing locks of golden hair and eyes as deep as the ocean bl- Ha! Just kidding. But seriously. How did a girl like me: Green dull eyes, boring brown hair and a piercing on her eyebrow get kidnapped? Yes, you heard right. Kidnapped. As in stolen. From a small town. During Winter. In Walmart. WALMART. It's a little insulting if you ask me. _____________ Welcome to the world of Humor lovely! My description may not be good, but if you give the story a chance I'm sure you'll love it :)