They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

"morning princess, i love you." "this is the wrong number, but keep calling me your princess, please."

"If you ever want to hang out, have a drink, or have sex, I'll be waiting for you in Apartment C."

"why are you staring at me" "because you're beautiful" "you must be blind" "i am" "then how would you know i'm beautiful?" "i just do" warning: this book is so so so so cringeworthy and cliche and poorly written ! written before i had any idea how to develop a story lmao. slowly editing

Sequel to Cliché. In which two familiar people never really want whatever relationship they have left to end. And the other younger two don't know how to start.

"What's my name?" "Daddy."

"My beautiful Puppet Boy and my beautiful Puppet Girl." A teenage boy and girl find themselves trapped in the lair of a crazy man obsessed with human puppetry. __________________ #1 in horror - 12/6/15 [featured - 12/30/15] IMPORTANT NOTICE - if you're reading this story on a site that is not www.wattpad.com then you could be at risk of a malware attack. Furthermore, please go to this link: www.wattpad.com/user/z0mbies, and report to me where you are reading this story. Thank you. WARNING: This story contains distressing material. Reader discretion advised. The characters in this book are fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

"Why can't you trust me?" Daddy Issues | 1st book Trust Issues | 2nd book