coffee and cigarettes
3 stories
Running With Scissors by Sam_le_fou
Sam_le_fou
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    Parts 2
Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive! ***** When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left? For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time? [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]
How To Hide A Body by ashtsk
ashtsk
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    Parts 49
Solange Southwood is a professional criminal. It runs in the family. She's helped countless notorious criminals and has only been in jail once. However, suddenly there are new rules to a game she didn't know she had been playing. Someone blackmails her. In order to preserve her identity and save the ones she loves, she must complete a set of tasks, all of which are outrageous. Will she succeed? Cover credits: @SilverBluinse