Critique
11 stories
Hidden Secrets by AllenShin2211
Hidden Secrets
AllenShin2211
  • Reads 1,307
  • Votes 62
  • Parts 18
Abandoned at birth and sent to live with many other orphans in a church, Kaylyn has never really had a normal life. Everyone was family under the care of Sister Marie, and for seventeen years she was convinced that her life had finally become normal. But nothing is normal in Kaylyn's life. When she discovers the children and Sister Marie brutally murdered inside the convent, her life takes a drastic turn. She has no choice but to join the Black Cross along with Jason, her childhood friend. She learns of their enemy – White Spades and was convinced that they were the enemy. Until she personally meets the members of the White Spades. Kaylyn sets out to find out the truth while seeking revenge for Sister Marie. Along the journey she learns more than she was supposed to; that not a single one of them was as saint or evil as they were said to be.
The Silver Knights by Multijoys
The Silver Knights
Multijoys
  • Reads 1,459
  • Votes 89
  • Parts 14
Dangerous. That's all anyone would say if asked to describe the great beasts that could be seen circling the major cities, if you could get them to say anything at all. Jenn shivered as the concrete was briefly covered in shadow. Helicopters no longer flew over the skyscrapers to report news or traffic. Hardly anything man-made flew in the skies at all anymore. The shadow passed again. Even as she involuntarily shivered, Jenn felt her anger at this cowering way of living grow. When the shadow passed a third time, she refused to be ruled by the fear that clung to her; as it clung to every man, woman, and child... at least she tried to convince herself that she could overcome it. The sudden shriek from above had her flat on the concrete, her dark hair splayed out to hide her amber eyes. She didn't want to look up, not at that! Someday, Jenn thought, as she tried to control her trembling limbs enough to stand. Some day I will not react to you with fear. I will join those who work to rid our world of Dragons!
Secrets.. by rubberducky36
Secrets..
rubberducky36
  • Reads 3,010
  • Votes 166
  • Parts 15
Ever kept a secret? Ever hidden who you truly are? Hope Evans takes secrets to a whole new level...
Alien X by Mandi_Pie
Alien X
Mandi_Pie
  • Reads 69,402
  • Votes 2,297
  • Parts 29
Under extreme updating __________ Arina lives in a different world. A world owned by aliens, but not the ones you know. They’re human, except for silver hair and eyes. Blending in is her only chance at survival. Until her secret is revealed and she is forced to flee. Meeting outcasts such as herself, they come up with a deadly plan. But this plan can only be done once. But how do you rebel against the same species, much less the one you love?
Pandorica. The Creation by JVSavill
Pandorica. The Creation
JVSavill
  • Reads 5,201
  • Votes 279
  • Parts 51
𝐎𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐝. 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝. 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝. 𝘏𝘢𝘴 𝘌𝘮𝘮𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥? 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺, 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦. Emma thought she'd lost everything when she ran into the Pandorica, but she found more than she could have dreamed - family, friends, love, a new life. It was perfect. Other than the murderous mythical beast hunting them, the fact that they were trapped here forever, and the monthly sacrifice of a young child for all eternity... Forced to struggle against the hardships of life and the troubles of their past, will Emma and her friends ever manage to create a new life here? *WARNING* This book touches on sensitive topics that may be distressing or triggering to some readers. If you would like more detail on the the themes and/or extent of any triggering content, please send a direct private message to the author - JVSavill
Skinned [Undergoing Major Rewrite] by Necrotizer
Skinned [Undergoing Major Rewrite]
Necrotizer
  • Reads 2,997
  • Votes 9
  • Parts 1
Undergoing Major Rewrite! No Peeking! [Previous Blurb] In the city of Jameston, a typical backwoods small town in the middle of Michigan, the traditions and past are a bit...peculiar. The town is obsessed with wolves. There are festivals to honor the powerful beasts, the school mascots are all wolves, shops that sell wolf-themed trinkets litter the shopping district- you name it, and they probably have it. The richest part of the town's history, and what inspire the people of Jameston to love wolves, are the old Indian tales of wolf spirits who masqueraded as humans to walk among them- creatures commonly known as werewolves. Descendants of those Indians were the only werewolves in town until high school senior Erin Carson entered the picture- becoming the city's first Bitten to join the pack in decades. For a while, her life was unaffected by her affliction of lycanthropy, but when the grim reality of what she is now rears it's ugly head, she finds her life crumbling around her. As the lies chip away at the relationship between her and her best friend, Nel, and a new love goes sour, Erin finds herself struggling to hold together her two lives and her own sanity together. Unfortunately, secrets can only stay secrets for so long. Her fragile web of lies and deceit with eventually be torn apart.
Night Reign - (ON HOLD) by little_elfin
Night Reign - (ON HOLD)
little_elfin
  • Reads 94,228
  • Votes 1,652
  • Parts 20
All Reign Masters knows, is duty. All his life he has committed to upholding 'The Laws'. In a world where vampires run free, hidden away from human eyes, his kind are the only ones capable of maintaining balance. Gabrielle Emily Ford was the daughter everyone wanted; successful, popular and kind-hearted. All her life she has been adored. All she's known is peace. But life's a bitch and Ellie's gotta grow up to the 'big bad world' someday. Only she never anticipated how 'bad' the world really could be.
The Immune by Chernobli
The Immune
Chernobli
  • Reads 18,372
  • Votes 849
  • Parts 22
The apocalypse is hanging on, ten years after the initial zombie outbreak. Humans have started to regroup, rebuild, and inspire. But the infection is still dormant in the human body. They need a cure, and for just a moment they had it. A woman, the fittest to survive in this new world, remained immune to the infectious bite. Her peers took her, experimented on her, desperate for her immunity - due to their brutality and fixation, she died. This story follows her daughter, Ash. Hunted for years by fellow survivors, they will do anything to get their hands on her. In this nightmarish world, fraught with danger, can she learn to trust her enemies? An enemy far worse than zombies? An enemy with gorgeous eyes? With zombie killing scenes, delicious eye candy, battles of morality , and the beauty of the hunt.
Just Breathe [On Hold Indefinitely] by everfalls
Just Breathe [On Hold Indefinitely]
everfalls
  • Reads 47,032
  • Votes 1,132
  • Parts 7
"Life isn't a matter of milestones, but of moments." Meet Anabelle, an inept overachiever. She's got the rest of her life carefully planned out. Get a high school diploma, get enough money from The Smokestall to go to college, and finally - get out of Milwaukee. Everything was going faultlessly, until he came into town. He's the guy with no emotions. No problems. No voice. Just music and an eecentric obsession with telling the truth. He doesn't fit Anabelle's lifestyle at all, so why does she feel so at ease with him? Suddenly, Anabelle's life gets too exciting too fast. She's forgetting all about the act she's been putting on with her parents, her overdue college applications, and most importantly: her future. With Alex, it's all about living in the now. Soon enough, Anabelle finds herself entering into a new world where she can be anyone she wants and she finds it a whole lot more invigorating than the world she's living in now.
Summer Rain by JJJiangx
Summer Rain
JJJiangx
  • Reads 3,772,161
  • Votes 97,331
  • Parts 72
[Includes Something about Summer & After Rain] Raine Evans had everything. Okay, maybe not. So she avoided her problems a bit too much and didn't have the best past, but she was happy. Then summer came. What started out as a crazy challenge and a devious, match-making best friend turned into an unconscious game of hearts. And somehow, everything she had been running from became inevitable. Three years later, it's all still broken. Forever had became just another seven letter word, and moving on was the only way to go. Until a chance meeting puts everything on pause. But no one's really ready to try again. After all, things are so much harder the second time around [WattyAwards2012 Finalist: Humor]
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