i should've actually believed what the door had read. (lowercase intended, only one or two sentences per chapter. this is my book, do not steal my idea.)

If people thought I was a dirty fuckboy fine. I'd be the dirtiest fuckboy they'd ever seen.

On Wednesdays we wear plaid.

You were red and you liked me because I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky but then you decided that purple just wasn't for you.

"Get in loser we're going to college"

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

"Welcome to Hell. Squat and cough."

She's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.