HUMOR
17 stories
Sweet as a Strawberry by im_fluent_in_sarcasm
im_fluent_in_sarcasm
  • WpView
    Reads 23,943,360
  • WpVote
    Votes 949,326
  • WpPart
    Parts 49
~complete~ Charlotte is as sweet as a strawberry. She's the kind of person who will drop everything just to help you, just to put a smile on your face. She's as sweet as the sugar that constantly runs through her bloodstream, and as excitable as the rush that comes with it. And then there's Benjamin, who's as sour as a lemon. The last thing on this Godforsaken planet he wants to do is acquaint himself with her. While Charlotte is kind and caring, he's rude and vulgar, while she's friendly and innocent, he's crass and mean. So how in the hell is that going to turn out?
Eye Drops (#2) by evethespy
evethespy
  • WpView
    Reads 1,139,170
  • WpVote
    Votes 85,485
  • WpPart
    Parts 71
"This is Westerden Optometrist. What are your symptoms?" "For starters, my eyesight has been super blurry and distorted, and this problem is starting to screw up seventeen-year-old life. Speaking of which, you sound kind of young for an optometrist. How old are you?" "Um, I don't think it'd be the greatest idea for that blurry eyesight of yours to be treated by a guy your own age." "My own... oh no." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #4 (03/04/16) Wattpad Featured Story (July 2017) © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.
Waffle Cones (#1) by evethespy
evethespy
  • WpView
    Reads 5,376,587
  • WpVote
    Votes 369,688
  • WpPart
    Parts 72
"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Short Story #1 (19/04/18) 2016 Fiction Awards Finalist © 2015 evethespy. All Rights Reserved.
I Almost Killed My Crush's Mom by Cherry_Cola_x
Cherry_Cola_x
  • WpView
    Reads 8,573,949
  • WpVote
    Votes 394,331
  • WpPart
    Parts 41
I, Lois Mai Reynolds, am all kinds of clumsy. I fall over flat surfaces. I drop expensive vases, and miraculously find ways to trip over thin air. Not a day has passed by when I'm not wearing a Band-Aid for some kind of accident that I've endured, and it's stooped to the level now that my parents call me King Kong and joke about having warning signs and safety tape around my bedroom door. Once upon a time, I used to think of that as a laughing matter, but not anymore. Not since I almost killed my crush's mom. Suddenly, being compared to a giant gorilla of mass destruction doesn't actually seem that crazy. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED #11 Romance
The Invisible Best Friends by Blackrose2027
Blackrose2027
  • WpView
    Reads 8,979,971
  • WpVote
    Votes 358,067
  • WpPart
    Parts 58
Meet Alyssa Bent, she's a nerd. But not your typical one. She likes to read, but her world doesn't totally revolve around books. She's not shy nor does she stutter when someone tries to corner her. She can stand up to anyone provided it doesn't involve attention. Attention is the only thing that scares her, and like always, there's a reason behind it. Maintaining a balance of grades and producing comebacks with sarcasm dripping from each word isn't the only talent she possesses. Enter Aaron Pelt, the most popular boy at Gradient High. Girls fawn over him. Well, who wouldn't? He's the star soccer player, after all. With the looks no less than a model, he has no problem maintaining his status on the social ladder. He maintains a cool aura around him all the time. They both go to Gradient High, a school that is divided into two social groups: the popular ones and the nerds. The popular ones are the wealthy snobs and the nerds are the ones who practically are their slaves. At Gradient High, these two groups can never get along! Like Ever! But who knew that the most popular guy and the nerd would actually be best friends? That's right! Alyssa and Aaron have been best friends since their diaper days. But at school, they are forced not to acknowledge each other's presence because if they did, Aaron's reputation might suffer and Alyssa may be subjected to something she hates the most: attention. While Aaron may not know, the reason why Alyssa hates attention might be even more than she lets him believe. A reason that might even force her to throw away her future dream. So will Aaron be able to break through the walls and push her out even when he has the pressure of popularity and the school status weighing him down? Get ready to expect the unexpected. You might want to change your definition of clichè after reading...... #1 Humour- 08.01.16 (Cover by: -infinities) *NOT EDITED SO KINDLY BEAR WITH ME!
My Life with the Walter Boys [Wattpad Version Sample] by authoralinovak
authoralinovak
  • WpView
    Reads 80,647,300
  • WpVote
    Votes 232,400
  • WpPart
    Parts 7
NOW PUBLISHED BY SOURCEBOOKS FIRE! Sixteen-year-old Jackie Howard knows nothing about her new guardian Katherine Walter when she moves from New York to Colorado. After discovering that Katherine has twelve boys, Jackie fears that living in the Walter house isn't going to be easy. It's just icing on the cake that the boys look like models... Cover design by pizzazz-
Straighter than Parallel Parking by sarena_a
sarena_a
  • WpView
    Reads 611,704
  • WpVote
    Votes 31,089
  • WpPart
    Parts 49
❝I think you're more of a goddamn female than I am, James.❞ | ❝Pfft, don't you know? The only thing straighter than me is my parking, Janice.❞ | Copyright © 2015 Sarena Akhter. All Rights Reserved.
Once Upon A Push by istolethecookiez
istolethecookiez
  • WpView
    Reads 6,389,782
  • WpVote
    Votes 230,033
  • WpPart
    Parts 21
She didn't fall, she was pushed. Let me explain more, yeah? She was pushed, by her best friends, into a guy- but not just any guy. Cyrus Angelo, the infamous Cyrus Angelo. Maverly Perkins is full of witty comebacks, a loud laugh, and has a fierce attitude. Love doesn't come easy to her but does it to anyone? Just as Maverly is giving up on guys, due to a past experience with a jerk, she's pushed into something she doesn't want to get involved with, literally. No, not something- more like someone; Cyrus Angelo to be exact. But somethings different about him; her usual witty and sarcastic comments become stutters and nervous babbling. What is this feeling in the pit of her stomach? A crush? Love? Of course not. Cyrus Angelo- those are the two words that make guys run and girls swoon. No one talks to him, threatens him, touches him, or talks back to him. The last time any one of these things happened; someone ended up in a hospital for 6 weeks in the intensive care unit. But what happens when Maverly breaks all those rules... within a 2 minute period? After a promise to 'see her later,' too many awkward moments to count, crazy parties where a few people get drunk and tell their life story in full detail, funny experiences of falling, failing, and fighting, terrible flirting, and stupid games of truth or dare- Who knows what could happen? And to think it all started with a push. --- THIS COVER WAS MADE BY A FAN.
The Bad Boy Stole My Notebook by Miles11011
Miles11011
  • WpView
    Reads 10,070,473
  • WpVote
    Votes 410,470
  • WpPart
    Parts 25
Lilah is the plain, simple girl that no one notices. She's just another face in the crowd, nothing more. Her world is very different from the ones of her two best friends, which causes them to rarely see each other. So, they share a notebook. They write their feelings and their secrets in this notebook and it is only passed between them. Until Lilah loses it in the hallway. Reece is the school's bad boy, street fighter, and also the boy who finds Lilah's notebook. But Reece doesn't want to be nice and simply give the notebook back to her, not unless he gets something out of it. How far will Lilah go to get her notebook back? Guess you'll have to read to find out. ;) (This is not edited)