They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Charlotte Everley and her best friend had a tradition. Every summer on June 26th, they call one number--one random number of the same area code, purely for entertainment. When Charlotte's best friend Stella found love with the help of their 'tradition', she added another reason. To find Charlotte a boyfriend. After three years of endless match ups, set ups, blind dates. and not to mention two calls to, thankfully, female receivers, the summer of eleventh grade comes rolling by, and so does the fateful day of June 26th. The only difference is that, this time, the stranger behind the phone is most definitely male. And the president's eighteen year old son.

I'm walking to my dorm,it's late at night and it's really creepy. I hear a scream coming from the MDT block,I walk towards the MDT block and I hear a girls voice. "Please don't hurt me I don't want to die" she said out of the shadows five people came out and one with curly hair pinned her up against the wall. "See we can't do that and we're hungry and you're our next meal so be quiet and it'll all be over in a second" he said I saw his face go into the crook of her neck and it looked like he bit into her. All of the boys ran to her and but into her. I gasp they stopped and looked around and went back to feeding. She was screaming bloody murder they continued I wasn't going to stay here. So I backed up not looking where I was going and ran into the garbage bin making a big noise. "Guys we're not alone here" one of them said. Louise gets sent to London's top boarding school. The only reason she's there Is cause her parents are on a honeymoon for a year and they don't give a crap about her. On her first day she gets a new friend and has five boys eyeing her and watching her. After a while Louisa finds out their deadly secret that no one should know. Read to find out what happens.