- won first place in the summer 2015 x reader fanfiction awards - You feel like your life is one big existential crisis. You can't get a job, your landlord is an asshole (to put it lightly), and your mum is incredibly overprotective. You feel lost... until you meet HIM. (featuring end of 2014 - early 2016 Dan) *UNDER SEVERE EDITING - MAY NOT MAKE SENSE* *** incredibly cliché, read at own risk. occasional swearing (censored) and mentions of mature themes. one scene of abuse. enjoy! *** ©phangirlingweirdo

13-year-old Iris has been living her life trapped in lonely foster homes. She's moved almost every month, due to being antisocial and distant towards the families. Nobody seems to understand the trauma she's dealing with; the memories of her biological family constantly haunting her. It's impossible for her to feel a sense of safety. She never feels at home. Although she does experience times of joy, it is quite rare for her to find any source of light in her life. But there are two YouTubers who manage to give her momentary happiness. And all it takes to get their attention is one letter. Just one letter, and suddenly Iris' life is where she never thought it would be; In the caring hands of Dan Howell (danisnotonfire) and Phil Lester (AmazingPhil). [A/N: There are some triggers, but overall this fanfiction isn't centered around those things. However, there is some swearing and sexual content. You've been warned!] *I am the queen of this plot so y'all better bow down to me*

Part 1 of the infamous series. Feelings appear. Sparks fly. Love rises. Problems occur. Please note: This story is now very old (7 years old in 2020) and I'd like to think my writing has improved since then! There are a bunch of cringey parts and bad writing in here, but enjoy and thanks for reading! :)

TRIGGER WARNING. THIS STORY CONTAINS MENTIONS OF RAPE, SELF INJURY, DEATH AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. Can Dan save Phil? Phil is suicidal and Dan is the only one who's there for him. Can he alone save Phil?