Summary: Dan draws, Phil doesn't. Phil wears black shirts, speaks loudly, and glares at everyone. Dan wears grey jumpers, doesn't talk, and tries to stay invisible. Phil's reckless, Dan's not. This is as story about two polar opposites who mange to have a string of first times together, and maybe even a cute love story. Because unexpected things always happen, when you try to keep someone at arms length. Rating/Warnings: Mature Readers (READ AT OWN RISK). This story may contain topics of depression, cutting, anxiety, panic attacks, assault, gay slurs, and minor sexual content. If any of the listed content triggers you, please do not read. Please do not copy and post my story anywhere else or create an "adaptation" of my work. Thank you. Copyright © 2013. strawb3rryvib3s All Rights Reserved.

"I'm sorry..." (trigger warning)

©blushinghobi Dan Howell (20) has been hurt and abandoned for his whole life. Left lonely,he had absolutely nobody to talk to. He had a shitty apartment and a crappy job and really,he had nothing to look forwards to in his life. Phil Lester (24) seemed like a really bubbly and happy person. He made YouTube videos online and he was overall happy. Just what Dan needed to have. What will happen when the both of them meet? Will everything be fantastic or will all just fall to pieces?

Phil doesn't talks. Well, not anymore. The last time he said something, was when he didn't hate himself. And that was a long time ago. But now, everything is different. He must struggle with depression, whilst new boy Dan Howell desperately attempts to win him over. [Warning: this could be triggering at some points]

Dear Phil, It's three am. I can't sleep. So, I'm writing to you.

Dan is happier than he could ever be, with his best friend Phil. Everything was in place, perfect, life was exciting again. Except everything seems different from Phil's side. Dan calls him names. Dan laughs behind his back. Dan humiliates him in front of everyone, and thus Phil just doesn't know how long he can take it. And then someone else comes onto the scene, things will completely turn on its head. Dan and Phil's happiness was meant to be short lived. ((this story is a sequel, but can be read without you having to read the first book! - "wake up, phil"))

Dan is a dancer, but it's his best kept secret. Moving to a new college results in new friends, new hobbies and a new outlook in life; but what does it really mean to be human? A series of strange and seemingly unconnected events unfold that all seem to link back to Dan's mysterious new boyfriend. etcetc phan with kickthestickz This story carries some warnings, however they're p much all spoilers except non-graphic violence and injury on one occasion, and non-described minor character death. No major character death and no self harm. Please message me if you think you'll need to know the TWs! To avoid spoilers, you can give me a list of things you don't want to read for whatever reason and I'll let you know if they're in the fic or not :)

TRIGGER WARNING. THIS STORY CONTAINS MENTIONS OF RAPE, SELF INJURY, DEATH AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE. Can Dan save Phil? Phil is suicidal and Dan is the only one who's there for him. Can he alone save Phil?

'Oh God Phil, I know you've messed up in the past, but this time you've really done it.' Dan and Phil go to a restaurant one November evening to visit Dan's parents. It all seems like a pleasant evening, until Phil accidentally exposes his relationship with Dan, who knows his parents are severely homophobic. Mistakes are made, and Phil ends up in hospital. Dan, alone, waits for weeks for Phil to wake up from his coma state, until one day, he decides he can't wait any longer, so he tries to end his life to be with Phil, whom he thinks is dead. Phil wakes up, only to find Dan is not by his side, but on his way to a bridge over the Thames as he prepares to jump into the murky waters and take his own life. ( WARNINGS: swearing, a few TWs, anger and violence )