WATTPAD FEATURED STORY Daniel Evans is trying not to let his crush on Jonah Clarke get in the way of their new found friendship, because Jonah Clarke is definitely not gay. Placed third in the Valentine's Day Contest hosted by @taygetsthegay

"Aurel?" "I told you I'm not a girl" "Well, since I haven't seen you, your sexuality is not confirmed" "You want me to send you a pic of my penis?" "tempting but no" #1 in short story [7/22/16] Book Two From Texts and Calls Series © Copyrights Reserved This book was edited by @LunaValdez24

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

"Quick Clean Laundry! When it's dirty we make it clean, this is Melissa speaking." "uh...." "Hello?.." "I asked a cute girl her number and this is what she gave me" #3 in Short Story [8/1/16] Book One From Texts and Calls Series © Copyrights Reserved

She grew up in a world different from his. While he conquered battles, she read books and studied history. While he led an entire pack of wolves, she drowned in knowledge about the realm they live in. While lives hang in his shoulder, she was taught not to associate with any of his kind. But they knew all too well to know that fate does not work like that, and people who are destined for one another, will meet no matter how big the differences between them are. --

My awkward rants about the cliche books on Wattpad. (The title kind of says it all, but I don't like seeing a blank Description box) I hope you enjoy my apparent ability to make people laugh. Warning: these are my spur-of-the-moment thoughts. Some stuff may or may not come across as being extremely critical or harsh, but I assure you, I'm NOT trying to tell you to do a complete 180 and delete everything cliche in your books. These are merely my thoughts, not a "How to Be a Perfect Writer" guide. Okee dokee? :) Highest rank: Humor #80, Rant #1 !!!!

It was pity that first made Dannie speak to him. She had known Ryan since she was a kid, but he had always been the popular Golden Boy, and she had always been the tomboy that didn’t mind not having any friends. It was odd, she had thought, that all the popular kids who had once kissed the ground he walked on, didn’t so much spared him a glance anymore, and it was this that made her sit with him that one faithful day and begin something that would only end up causing her pain.

WARNING! Please be advised that this is not a bedtime story about sparkly fairies and pink unicorns. This book may contain graphic descriptions of poisoned apples and witches' ovens. It is not appropriate for supernatural beings under the age of 377 (excluding vampires and werewolves). DISCLAIMER: Wicked Witches Inc. and Evil Stepmother Enterprises are not responsible for any maiming, mass murder or permanent insanity resulting from the reading of this book.

A collection of notes, a public library, two teenagers, and zero spoken communication.