They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ first reached #1 in business on august 29, 2023 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot) P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution. (cover by @glueeater)

Vanessa Laine is a college student and aspiring musician. She's got the look and she's got the voice. The only thing that's stopping her is her stage fright...and an opportunity. But opportunity knocks when pop-punk band, The Velocity, holds auditions for a new lead singer at the restaurant that Vanessa works at. Getting in was the easy part. Surviving as the only girl in the band is the hard part. Can she do it?

Selena's life is in shambles. Isolated by most of her family, witnessing a lifelong friendship crumbling before her eyes, and being torn apart from the boy she fell so idiotically in love with, she doesn't see how things could get much worse. But once again, the universe finds uncanny enjoyment in proving her wrong. On the other end of the spectrum, Conner's not doing much better. Like Selena, his family is completely against Conner and his girlfriend's entire relationship. The only difference being, his family is on the side against him. And as if he wasn't unlucky enough, Selena's handsome and foreign almost-ex-boyfriend picked the perfect time to come and pay them a visit. With more than ever on the line, what started out as harmless fun has morphed into something entirely more heartbreaking. Even best friends have their issues sometimes, right?

Conner Rogers: Hot, athletic, and popular, with an ego the size of the Empire State Building. Selena Rider: Clumsy, uncoordinated-and-most-definitely-not-athletic, and sarcastic, with an unfortunate affinity for making self destructive life decisions. Against all odds, Selena and Conner have remained best friends longer than either can even recall, joined at the hip and constantly searching for adventure. Or trouble. Or both. Until puberty kicks in, and BAM!, they go from being best friends for life, to best friends with benefits. No one else knows, for now anyways, and keeping it that way will prove more of a challenge than expected. The two will have to deal with the fact, that the things they want, are sometimes the things that they never expected to want. There's a test of devotion and friendship approaching them, and no one is certain that they will make it out with their hearts in one piece. After all, best friends are forever. Right? UNDER MASSIVE CONSTRUCTION! So if things aren't making any sense, it's because I've been going back and editing everything XD