Disastrous dates to avoid.

"Y-you," she stuttered, staring at the handsome man sitting on the sleek black throne, "you're..." He rolled his eyes, waving his hand impatiently and said, "Hades. Come on, say it with me. Ha-des." "Hades," Ariel breathed out, still not believing the sight before her. Every picture she had seen of the gods had not depicted Hades' beauty. The god sitting before her was not a crusty old man with a white beard; no, he was a Calvin Klein model. "Yes," Hades clasped his hands together and grimaced, "the God of Death and riches; that's me." Ariel nodded, still refusing to believe but knowing she had to and Hades' grimace turned even bitter, "And you, darling, will be staying with me for quite some time." ~*~ Cover: _nymphomaniac Published: 8/6/14

This isn't a deep book about first loves or self-discovery. If you want a book like that, I'd be happy to recommend one, but I don't have that kind of story to tell. Instead my story is about rash decisions and finding out that your dream guy is bad in bed. It's the story of when I finally went skinny dipping, and how my life was never the same again. Oh, and it's also the story of my freshman year of college and realizing Mr. Right might have been there all along.

Before my husband Ethan died, he wrote me a letter. For three years, it's sat unopened in my bedside table... waiting. As a widow and a single mother, I'd made peace with a quiet life. After all, I lost the love of my life. No one could ever replace him. But then, I met Dr. Logan Matthews and everything changed. He appeared like a white knight, caring for my injured daughter as he slowly mended the pieces of my broken heart. The letter Ethan left me has three words written on the envelope, When You're Ready. So, I guess the question is... Was I ready... to love again? Please Note: This is a sample and ends at chapter two. The full book can be purchased at all major online retailers.

Some of the best blonde jokes and insults! Please vote and comment if you laugh, I love reading all the comments :) (I can't take credit for all of these jokes)