*****WATTYS 2015 WINNER!***** WATTPAD STAFF PICK (9/7/15) In the end, the robots win. But you already knew that. "Everyone Died + My iPhone Stopped Working" is a collection of short interviews with some of the survivors. People who have tremendous insight into the rise of Artificially Intelligent machines or, more often, don't. Why did the robots rise up? What did they want? Why couldn't they be stopped? Can they be stopped now? Is humanity doomed? And what the f--k is going on with the squirrels? You will get the answers to all of these questions. Or some of these questions. Or none of these questions. We'll see. I will be updating this once a week until I run out of stuff that I find funny. Then I'm done. Cover art courtesy of the hilarious and ridiculously talented Dave Pressler. (http://www.davepresslerart.com)

When a semi-sentient starship loses its crew it must find a new one quickly. The nearest planet with intelligence is a small blue globe third out from its parent star. The ship, intelligence fading, kidnaps five humans from the mountains of the Appalachians and re-enters civilization. Unfortunately, said humans are questionably sentient and might not be the best ambassadors Earth could possibly have. When they are through nothing in the galaxy will be quite the same.

When Clara and Zeke discover a series of strange fossils from an unknown cat-shaped dinosaur, they expect to make a groundbreaking contribution to the science of Paleontology. Soon they find themselves in the sights of Myles Vulture, a trillionaire with unlimited resources who will stop at nothing to obtain the rare Kittysaurus fossils for his own collection. Their only hope of success requires a trip 145 million years into the past to a lost period of history called the Zanyzoic where Clara and Zeke run the risk of getting eaten by their own discovery! Kittysaurus is a hilarious adventure, entertaining for middle school students, children and adults.

My best friend said I should do one so.... Here goes nothing. Just know I'm really not an interesting person.....