Hello dear friends. I'm Doctor Josef R. Daneeka, inventor of the Lips, Nips and Hips line of cosmetics and the Warsaw Skin-E diet pill, world renowned surgeon, generous lover of my wife, and friendly neighbor. This screed, this angry little book of lies, exists solely to discredit me, my family and my work. I have no doubt that my corporate enemies (Procter & Gamble, I'm looking at you) are behind this propaganda. I tell you now, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: I have never spliced human DNA with extraterrestrial DNA; I have never manufactured human clones; I am not an opiate addict, and I most certainly do not keep my wife locked up in my cellar with a rhesus monkey. The (most likely invented) teenager protagonist herein, is a thief and a con artist who will play upon your sympathies in order to manipulate you. Moreover, his tale is nothing more than seedy, smut. While I, like any good citizen, cherish my gay comrades, the deviant author of this work wants to infest your children's minds with his debaucherous story of teenaged gay sex and drug abuse. Abstinence, dear friends, is all that I preach. Abstinence, and a deep love for God. Please, friends, avert your eyes. Oh, and for you ladies out there. Can't seem to get rid of those pesky zits? Fear not. Krazy Koncealer can blitz those zits, lickety-split. Permanently! Available at any pharmacy near you! Fantabulous cover art by : @Ferret-bird

If you were handed a responsibility by a dead man would you still carry it?

*Wattys2016 Winner* *An edited and expanded version of this is now a published book on Amazon (under kindle direct so you might be able to read it free) under the name Spider's Kiss* https://www.amazon.com/Spiders-Kiss-Book-Drambish-Chronicles-ebook/dp/B07ZQT245J/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=spider%27s+kiss+book&qid=1576257844&s=instant-video&sr=1-5-catcorr Tired of dwelling in the bowels of the galaxy's most infamous brothel, Silvia plots to escape her bonds, setting in motion the resurgence of a race of spiders thought extinct. As Silvia, the spider queen, and her mate claw and kill their way to freedom, some of their victims refuse to stay defeated. Police Chief Berrick Trehar and his family begin the spider's game without knowing the rules. But after a brush with Silvia, he learns the consequence of losing. Survival is the goal, galactic dominance the prize and failure is death. All the players must walk the line between playing to win and getting lost in the game. Book 2 Spider's Gambit is available on Amazon as of 8/9/20 (also listed with KU and can be read for free) https://www.amazon.com/Spiders-Gambit-Drambish-Contaminate-novels-ebook/dp/B08CYY1M5B/ *Cover created by @seventhstar you should go check out her other covers on her profile :) She's amazing.