Dan Howell and Phil Lester have said over and over that "Phan" is not real, and they have never been in a relationship together. They swear it; not even once. But behind the YouTube videos, BBC 1 radio shows and YouNows, what do Dan and Phil do in their private time? Are the fan-theories closer to the truth than Dan and Phil would like to even admit? With so much information about their lives available on the Internet, can they be allowed to keep one little secret? WARNING: CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, THEMES OF SUICIDE & SELF HARM. IT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS. Note: Not all images used in this story are made by me, and credit goes to those who made them.

Dan and Phil's friendship has ended. They moved out from their flat and went their separate ways. Phil has tried to keep in touch with Dan, but he never answers. All of his emails are unanswered, but that doesn't mean Dan never reads them.

It all started with that kiss, that moment and that passion when Dan became lost and Phil was clueless but both in love. The story of a skinny love that slowly becomes into something more and at the same time something less. *Note* Depression, suicide, self-harm and things like this will be mentioned a few times in this phan fiction and it shouldn't be triggering in any way but if it is, I apologize in advanced! Also, I wrote this a while ago now and my writing, grammar and spelling weren't the best so please excuse that. Enjoy!

*'BEST SERIES' WINNER (FANFICTION AWARDS 2017)* FIRST BOOK IN THE 'STAINED' SERIES Meet Phil Lester, a bad boy with blood on his hands. Literally. After one night strikes, Phil turns to a group of serial killers as a distraction and soon he finds himself with a trail of dead bodies at his own fault. Meet Dan Howell, a shy boy with flowers in his hair and nail polish on his fingers. Friendless and full of anxiety, he remains alone, until said serial killer with tattoos and piercings sits right next to him in the same support group. Phil finds himself falling for Dan when his mission is to kill him, and he wants to get close, even if that means spilling the unwanted truth- and a bit of blood. (punk!phil meets pastel!dan) [rated R for language and violence/gore]

{{ part two of psychedelia }} It's been two years since Dan moved out of the apartment to go to a rehabilitation centre, and in that space of time he's heard nothing from Phil. Not even a "hello." Dan's scared that Phil's moved on and forgotten about him, and since they both stopped vlogging Dan doesn't know what's happening in Phil's life. Is he still living in London? Has he moved back to Manchester? Is he even alive? So now that Dan is finally off his medication and he's completely clean, he should be happy again, right? Sometimes, the most painful thing is when the person who you share all of your best memories with becomes a slowly fading memory, and you can't do anything except watch and scream as the past disappears, almost like it never existed in the first place. And it fucking hurts. WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, MENTIONS OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.