“Love is a psychological and physiological phenomenon, made of synapses and hormones, endorphins and dopamine receptors, pheromones, experiences, commonalities, mutual attraction. Not the muscle of the heart. Inexact metaphor. Designed for poetry, not accuracy.” First person, present tense story told from Sherlock's point of view. Written in early 2011, prior to series 2.

He runs his fingers through her hair and tugs on it. "You're my doll," he says as he breathes her in. "You need me. You're mine to play with. You're mine. Without me, you're nothing." What happens when he one day disappears and the monsters buried deep in the basement begin scratching the walls and howling her name in the night? Why does her mother force big yellow pills down her throat, saying it's for the best? Why isn't she allowed in the basement? Who's in the basement? What's in the basement? Who is the little boy with sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, crying for his mother? Tick tock, Monique. The monsters are crawling up the basement. And they're coming for you.

This is a story full of journal entries about a boy, no--MAN, with an overactive imagination, unrelenting sarcasm, and very little interest in his history class. This is also a story full of constructive and not-so constructive comments by the tired man who's forced to grade them.

A book about the stuff I hate and why I hate it. And whatever else I want to throw in there because I don't follow your rules. NOTE: Seriously if you read any of this and get offended just shhhh because I really don't feel like hearing it at all.

Sick of cliché Wattpad books? Then this isn't the book for you. We take every single over-used plot, character and trope on Wattpad - from player-meets-nerd to my-boyfriend-is-a-vampire - and mash it all into one, awful, hilarious parody. NOTE: This is a parody. Characters have not been created to mock a race/nationality/sexuality, they have been created to lightly poke fun at the way certain teen fiction writers reduce them into crude stereotypes. Thanks for helping this pile of junk get to #1 in Humor!

❝I swear, people are the cause of cancer.❞

The story of a girl, a town, and the world as they face imminent death.

"Hey Mia?" "Yeah?" "Just making sure you're there." The prologue to Lobsters, showing how Mia and Polly met.

A story about two girls who are best friends, lovers, and lobsters. All at once.

Okie's fifteen. She lives in New York. She's got a few problems: she's failing geography, her dad's a wimp, and her mother, Sumatra, is a stone cold bitch. But things get a lot worse when Sumatra turns into a zombie and eats Okie's dad. Clio, Okie's grandmother, lives in Toronto; but since the zombie apocalypse, Toronto's a lot further away than it used to be. Clio suggests that Okie transport Sumatra across the border, because family is family. But coaching Okie by cellphone isn't easy, and Clio has some zombies of her own to contend with. Luckily she has some garden tools. Naomi Alderman and Margaret Atwood team up for this unusual two-hander. Encompassing love, death, sex, and the meaning of family, The Happy Zombie Sunrise Home will surprise, delight, and convince you of the vital importance of keeping ready supplies of rhubarb and mini-wieners in your freezer at all times. The story unfolds beginning October 24.