Dan Howell is invisible. That's all he knows how to be. Terrified of standing out, he is happy going unnoticed by his peers, finding company in only the old rock and roll songs on his iPod. But Dan's life is turned upside-down when a boy in his drama class takes him under his wing, introducing him to a world of excitement he never could have imagined. Through the good and the bad, Dan's new life thrills him and leaves him wondering ...what does it mean to truly be alive? pairs: Phan and KickTheStickz tw: language, sexual content, abuse, depression, death, suicide, medication, drugs, parents, alcohol ENTIRELY WRITTEN FROM DAN'S POV Note: This fic features no main character death, only mentions of death.

Dan Howell has never been the most social person. He can't be touched, or else he has a major panic attack; he's cold and distant to everyone except his best friend, Cat; all he ever really does is study. One day, an unusually perky boy moves to town and becomes extremely interested in Dan. TRIGGER WARNING: panic attacks and general anxiety