Warning: This is wild from beginning to end.

You want it all? And you want it now? Players? Vampires? Werewolves? Nerds and Jocks? Rockstars? Princesses? Kidnappers? Falling in love with your best friend? This short story has everything you're wishing for! Come in! Let's play: Spot the cliché! (Attention: Parody ahead. Read at your own risk.)