Hey, my name is Ryder Mendez. I'm seventeen years old. My life has never been normal. I got kicked out of school when I was 15. My mum is an alcoholic. My dad ditched us for another woman. My mum kicked me out of our flat because she couldn't cope with me. After that, I met a couple of mates that introduce me to the life I live today. Which is filled with drugs, alcohol, and trouble.. *Sneak Peek* The fact that it was past 11 o'clock at night and we were in the woods didn't help me with my escape. Also, being the clumsy person that I am I tripped over a fallen branch. I tried to get up but my foot was stuck. "Shit." I murmured under my breathe. The feeling of a large hand on my forearm startled me. The figure hoisted me up to my feet. I could only see his silhouette due to the darkness that engulfed us. "Run." His husky voice whispered. "They are close."

The thing about white lies, is that they darken more than the real ones actually. They start out trying not to hurt someone, but that's all they do. Hurt. I tried to protect him; but I didn't' know how. So I lied. It was only because he was my bestfriend. Because I love him. This secret you ask? Well, my parents died. And I have gastric cancer. How I managed to hide that for so long? No clue. I was willing to do anything to cover it up. When I realized how wrong it was, it was too late. More lies, losses, and love.

Preambles in 3rd person Flames, I'll be yours Underwater Swallow, smile Diobolical streak Staring at the sun Evil night together Driver surprise me I am your skin Ecstasy Up in flames.. "I'm fine. Aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the overwhelming crushing fear that something bad is about to happen." "it's called hyper- vigilance the persistent feeling of being under threat." "it not a feeling though, it's like, it's a panick attack. Like, I can't even breath." "So, if your drowning and you're trying to keep your mouth closed till that very last moment, what if you choose not to open your mouth." "You do anyways, it's a reflex." "But, if you hold on until that reflex kicks in, you'll have more time right?.... More time to fight your way to the surface." "More time to be in agonizing pain, did you forget the part where it feels like your head's exploding?" "If its about survival isn't a little agony worth it?" "What if it just gets worse? What if its agony now then.... Then it's just hell later on?" "Then think about what Winston Churchill once said: if your going threw hell..... Keep going."

The utter most inner thoughts and feelings of one who has but no other way to express them and therefore without a pen a paper she very much may spontaneously combust in an explosion of secrets bottled up for far far too long. : )

**One Direction FanFic** Erica has been being abused by her aunt and cousin for 4 years now. When her aunt has to let 5 famous kids stay at their house for awhile, they find out Erica's secret. Do they care? Or do they just walk away?